Now Showing: Frozen

I went to see the Disney movie "Frozen" yesterday with my four-year-old niece. It was her second time to watch it, but a first for me. I already knew the story by heart, however, as she made me and everyone in the household read her storybooks almost thrice daily.

In this post I will not discuss the debates surrounding the movie re feminism and the Disney-fication of a beloved classic, "Snow Queen." You can jump to this article for that and more links. I am not an expert on either subject matter.

My niece's take is totally different from mine, that's for sure. She focused on the little girls' games, the snowman, the marshmallow man, and the reindeer. It was a delight to watch her with her tiny 3D glasses, sitting at the edge of her seat, squealing in delight at her favorite scenes.

Despite my job as a mere movie companion, I found myself relating to the Snow Queen herself.  I liked her icy, translucent gown, to start with. And the freedom she enjoyed while unleashing her powers and being herself on top of the North Mountain held such a compelling image for me. I wanted that. The music helped to seal the deal: this is my current favorite Disney princess movie as well.

Elsa, the Snow Queen, thought she could isolate herself and not hurt anybody. But Anna, her warm, passionate, and persistent sister, showed her that Elsa's powers affected their kingdom down below and buried it in deep, deep, deep, deep, snow. Elsa was frustrated because she did not know how to bring back summer, and despite trying so hard not to hurt anyone, she still ended up hurting the ones she loved the most.

I will not put spoilers here, because those inclined should go watch the movie in 3D. But I must say that Elsa's journey showed me how I should accept my powers (gifts or skills or talents), and instead of hiding who I really am and what I can do, I should learn to just become Ella and trust that there is a place where I can unleash those powers and learn to control them.



The above song was performed by Idina Menzel, whose concert was my first at the Sydney Opera House, only last year. It really spoke to me powerfully.

The movie resolves its conflict by concluding that "an act of true love can thaw a frozen heart."

My own story does not have a conclusion yet. At heart, I am more like Anna. Mine is not the frozen heart.

In photo below: Refusing to be frozen last winter in a farm in Victoria, the hills were alive with the sound of Ella. And the cows moo-ing behind me.

A beautiful farm in Flowerdale, Victoria

Now Showing: Voyage of the Dawn Treader

I highly recommend Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader. I found it was much, much better than Prince Caspian, as I fell asleep while watching the latter on HBO, despite the boy-next-door charm of the lead character.

In the third book to be made into a movie, Lucy has grown up and is no longer the innocent and cute little queen we have loved from The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe. In this film, she struggles with her self-image issues and battles with her insecurities. Edmund is still haunted by the White Witch somehow and deals with his baggage about always playing second fiddle. And Caspian... what can I say about Caspian? If I were a teenager I would be swooning over him. He has transformed from prince into king splendidly.

I watched it on 3D so the special effects were more magnificent. I thought I would be seasick but thankfully, I did not. The film was so realistic I momentarily thought I had water on my 3D glasses.

The movie's Christian theme, injected in a few lines all throughout, came to a glorious end with the appearance of Aslan. Somehow, it made sense that he did not come early to rescue the young people from their battles. They had to go through them, to fight the darkness inside them and to face their fears with courage.

The faith and hope that the characters had was contagious. By the end of the film I too wanted to believe that I must not shy away from adventure, that I had all the tools and weapons to fight my enemies, and I would happily meet Aslan, but by the Name He is known in this world.

This movie is for God's children, for them to be in Narnia again so they can go back to the real world knowing that God is real. He is there for all His children.

I have to refrain myself from adding spoilers here. Please watch it and believe again.

Now Showing: Doubt

"Where's the love?", I asked myself after watching the movie "Doubt".  Since the Oscar Awards are coming, I made sure to post this blog even if I had other things I wanted to write about in my other blogs.

The film was set at a time in the Church when I was not yet born, and so I might not be able to accurately comment on the characters, their reactions, their emotions, and their actions.  The theme, however, is universal and still very much applicable to the Catholic Church as I know it.

Most of you who read this blog know that I don't exactly write movie reviews; instead I write movie reflections.

I have been a Meryl Streep fan since childhood, and I need not add to the chorus of praises for her outstanding performance in this film.  She set the pace, the tone, and the outcome of this film.  Philip Seymour Hoffman and Amy Adams held their own against her restless, doubtful character.  Philip as the very human priest Fr. Flynn was so convincing that I could relate more to his feelings, rather than to Meryl's character, Sr. Aloysius.  Amy Adams was perfect as the innocent, compassionate younger nun, that it reminded me of her character from the movie "Enchanted", which I also liked.  

The theme that struck me while watching, and even hours after, was not Doubt, but Love.  In particular, I was looking for it from Sr. Aloysius.  She had been so caught up in her desire to pursue truth and to "serve God", that she had turned Machiavellian.  She firmly believed that she could step away from God in order to do God's work.  I could not live with that.  I disagreed with that philosophy the more I thought about it.  I was shaking my head during many of her unbelievably complicated, yet subtle, scenes.

Just last Thursday, a couple of days before I watched the film, we had Bible Study in our office (yes, I am blessed to be in a workplace where the bosses support our spiritual growth) and the topic was the Fruit of the Spirit.  We studied three Scripture passages on Love: 1 Corinthians 13, 1 John 14, and Colossians 3.  We wrote down what encompassed love and we each identified our strengths and weaknesses in loving.  

A friend texted me that he loved Sr. Aloysius' humanity in the end of the movie.  For me, it came too late, for somebody else had paid the price for her lack of compassion, gentleness, patience, obedience, and kindness.  

I was struck by the stark difference between the dinner table of the sisters - hardly any conversation, the only sound coming from the scraping of the spoons against the plates - and that of the priests - where there was laughter, some irreverent conversation, wine, and genuine interest in one another.  Sr. Aloysius must have had a loving side hidden deep inside her, but I wished she had revealed it sooner.  But then again, the movie would not be about Doubt, but Compassion.

The various themes of the film were as overwhelming for me as "The Secret Life of Bees", a book I had wanted to write a reflection on even before the film was shown.  Racism, to which I had never been exposed to, played a major part in how the characters were developed and dealt with.  I would not venture to dwell on this much, except to say that any form of exclusion, any assertion of superiority, or any form of oppression, seems to me to run counter to the very nature of agape love, to which we are all called.  

It is true, however, that Doubt binds us, and that is where the film succeeds in transcending time and exposing the hearts (and minds) of men.  The very servants of God could very well be the ones experiencing crisis of faith.  Zeal for His love could possibly blind a person towards the need to accept the weaknesses of others.  I asked with the priest's character, directed toSr. Aloysius, "Have you ever done anything wrong?"  Her response was chilling.

Sr. Aloysius did not approve of sugar.  Fr. Flynn loved four cubes in his tea.  He also smoked, drank, and joked around with the students.  Sr. Aloysius liked to live in the past, and to instill old-school discipline to the students.  It was easy to love Fr. Flynn and to hate Sr. Aloysius.  He was the victim and she the judge, jury, and executioner.  

What I took with me after watching this film was to ask myself how Jesus lived, and how as His disciple, servant, and friend, I was supposed to handle life and all its complications.  I did not want to become a modern-day Pharisee and to add to the law what God had not commanded.  I did not want to give Christianity a bad name by being a sad, bitter person.  

I wish for the winds of change to come again and blow the Holy Spirit's breath into the dark, doubting souls that permeate this earth.  I do not think it is Doubt that should bind us, but Faith - in the unseen, but certain, Love of our Father, revealed through His Son, and dwelling in us through His Holy Spirit.

Yes, what the world needs now is love.  I believe this without a doubt.

This is As Good as it Gets!

One of my most favorite movie scripts is from "As Good as It Gets". I think I've blogged about it somewhere before and even used some quotes in one of my talks. Usually I get Melvin's lines when he talks to Carol, because the two greatest compliments I've heard in my life came from that obsessive-compulsive man.

Today I'm recalling that scene where Carol the waitress learns that his son won't suffer from asthma anymore, and she tries to write Melvin a long "thank-you" note for helping her out. Her mom is frustrated because she refuses to accept the fact that she's finally free to enjoy her life, that she should stop worrying. The last line from Carol and her mom's reply are classic about how I relate to God: me, always tearful, asking Him what He wants from me, and Him with loving eyes looking at His daughter and saying, I want you to have some rest.

Well, just picture the scene, or get a copy of that film and locate it! I'd like to thank the Internet Movie Script Database (IMSDb) for originally posting the script.

AS GOOD AS IT GETS (Excerpt)

by Mard Andrus And James L. Brooks

Story by Mark Andrus

    BEVERLY
  You're not still writing that
thank-you note?

    CAROL
  I'm on the last page. How do you
spell conscience?

    BEVERLY
  C-o-n-s-c-i-e-n-c-e. I got Sean
from the bakery to baby-sit so
let's go out.

    CAROL
  I still don't feel safe leaving
Spencer with someone. How do you
spell it again?

    BEVERLY
  Spencer is okay. You'd better
start finding something else to do
with your free time. If you can't
feel good about this break and
step out a little...
(struts and pumps
her arms)
You ought to get Mr. Udall to send
you over a psychiatrist.

    CAROL
   (more emotionally
than she intended)
I don't need one 'cause I know
what's really going on here. I
have to finish this letter or
I'll go nuts.
(looking at paper;
weepy)
This can't be right -- con-
science.

Carol breathes heavily -- gets control, stopping herself
on the brink of crying.

    BEVERLY
  Carol. What?

    CAROL
  I don't know... It's very strange
not feeling that stupid panic
thing inside you all the time.
Without that you just start
thinking about yourself -- and
what does that ever get anybody.
Today, on the bus there was this
adorable couple and I felt myself
giving them a dirty look -- I had
no idea everything was...

    BEVERLY
  Go ahead.

    CAROL
   (great, forceful
hand gestures)
... moving in the wrong
direction... Away from when I
even remembered what it was like
to have a man to... anything...
hold *** -- sorry -- hands
with, *****. I was
feeling like really bad that Dr.
Bettes is married.
(this next one's
tough)
Which is probably why I make poor
Spencer hug me more than he wants
to... Like the poor kid doesn't
have enough problems. ****
(weeps at her
insight)
Oh, boy. Who needs these
thoughts?

    BEVERLY
  Spencer's doing fine. So what are
you saying, that you're frustr...

    CAROL
  Leave me be! Why are you doing
this? Why are you picking at my
sores... What is it that you
want?... You want what? What's
with you? I hope getting me
thinking of everything that's
wrong when all I want is to not
do this has some purpose.
(puffy; red;
furious)
What is it, Mom? No kidding.

Slumped, fought out -- Carol gets out one last, naked
husky voiced question.

    CAROL
  What is it you want? What?

    BEVERLY
  I want us to go out.

A beat, then.

    CAROL
   (simply)
Okay.

(***** Asterisks Ella's.)

Ok, then. Enough drama. Let's go out!

Quitting my Whining

After watching Bruce Almighty on a huge screen underneath the moon and the stars, I felt sad. It was not my first time to see that film and I was not simply taking it too seriously. It was something more. I texted a friend and she said that the Jennifer Aniston praying/crying scene always made her sad.

I recalled that scene and realized it was not what caused my sadness. I connected more to Bruce himself and all his questions at God, ashamed though I am to admit it. When I first saw that film I disliked the way Bruce abused his thin slice of God's omnipotence. Tonight I saw myself in Bruce.

He had a job and someone wonderful who loved him very much, but he could not sit still and enjoy what he had. He wanted something more from God, all the time. Whenever he did not get what he wanted, he blamed God, and he had mean words to say.

I did not use similar accusatory language against God but whenever I whined and complained, I came close. I could relate to Bruce looking up, putting on imaginary gloves, and provoking God to smite him. I could relate to Bruce saying God is not doing his job because He was not fixing his life, something he accused God of being able to do in five minutes, if he wanted to.

I was no better than Bruce Almighty at creating my own pity parties and forgetting my blessings. I sat down to talk to God and say sorry for all the times I doubted Him. The picture painted in my head of how I looked every time I complained was unbearable and so un-Christ-like, yet I knew I was guilty of that.

At the back of my mind I was still waiting impatiently for God to answer all the questions I had about my life and my future. I was still holding my breath for the day when I would see the sun shining brightly. I might have been busy with many things the past few weeks but I just set aside the battles that had wounded me before. The wounds won't heal by being ignored, I know. If there was a better way, I hope I could find out soon.

I don't want to be ungrateful for God's love. I do believe in it even through these clouds. I know that by the end of this week, and on Easter, my heart shall rise with my Savior, and what seems dark shall become bright once again.

The Pursuit of Happyness

"...And it was at that time that I thought about Thomas Jefferson writing that Declaration of Independence. Him saying that we have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. And I thought about how he knew to put the 'pursuit' in there, like no one can actually have happiness. We can only pursue it." Christopher Gardner, "The Pursuit of Happyness"

It so happened that after my previous post where I said that I seemed to have forgotten how to be joyful again, I went to see this movie starring Will Smith and his son. It's a movie that took me on a long journey of one misfortune after another, and all the while I was asking if the hero would ever get the break that he badly needed and even, to my mind, deserved. Happiness seemed to be too elusive for Will's character Christopher, yet the knowledge that it was a true story and the assurance that there was going to be a happy ending allowed me to stick to it until the very end.

I left the movie house counting my blessings and vowing to persevere as much as Christopher Gardner did. All my concerns appeared to be petty when compared to his trials, and yet in the end he not only survived, he defeated all the odds that were against him.

Right before going to the movies, I had early dinner with my high school barkada. I was the first one to arrive at the restaurant. I chose a table beside the window, not knowing that it would lead me to live out a scene that was straight out of the movies.

I saw walking along the street outside the restaurant window a familiar face, but one I had not seen for a decade and a half. I knew it was him and I took a moment to hesitate before going out the door and calling out his name. He stopped, trying to find out who called him, then continued walking. I called out his name again, and this time I stepped on the sidewalk so he could see me.

He turned around and broke into a smile when he saw me. He walked, I walked, and when we were within hearing distance, we started talking at the same time. Then we laughed. I asked him where he was going, and he said he worked in the next building, and he mentioned the name of a law office. I said, "Oh, you're a lawyer now?" He said, "Yes, you too, right?" After a few minutes of talking we both realized we were standing on the street, so I invited him into the restaurant, where I left my purse, wallet, and important documents in my mad rush to catch him.

Did you ever see that "Friends" episode where Ross finally entered Rachel's childhood bedroom, and even if at that time, they had already hooked up and then broken up several times, Ross still couldn't get over the fact that he was in "Rachel Greene's room"? He had a huge crush on her in high school and referred to her using her full name, and he kept saying, "I can't believe I'm in Rachel Greene's room"? That's how I felt.

Let's call my friend-from-the-street Ross Geller. He was my biggest crush in high school. I had to say biggest because I had a new crush every quarter, but this guy, he lasted one schoolyear. He was my first dance in our J-S Prom! So when he sat down on the seat opposite mine in that dimly-lit restaurant, I wanted to pinch myself out of disbelief that Ross Geller was with me, after years of wondering about him, and we were actually talking.

Then I noticed The Ring - how could I not, when it gleamed and seemed to signal "THE END" to all my daydreams about Ross Geller? I hoped my reaction did not show. Somewhere between talking about our common friends and him telling me that he was so out of touch until the time we exchanged phone numbers and email addresses, I managed to ask how many children he had, and he said, "I have a 2- year old daughter".

The guy who introduced me to "Desiderata", who walked me home for almost 10 months, he became a lawyer, and not a doctor as he planned before, and he had a 2-year old daughter. And he was right there breathing the same air, and I had to think about other topics. So we talked about work and business, and I learned that our block's reviewers made it to his law school where they were being sold on CD-ROM format. People made a killing out of our hard work. He said he noticed all my side comments and obiter dicta in the reviewers that I edited. He also knew that I no longer lived in Pureza. He knew that I was a court attorney before, and he said he wondered which court I worked at. For someone not in touch with our batch, he sure remembered little details about me, my bruised ego whispered.

"How come you're not yet married, Laura?" I stared at my ringless finger and just laughed. What could I say? Because you're all married or otherwise simply unavailable! That's what I wanted to say. It was so nice to see him, but he had to run because he was going to have dinner with his wife. Of course! Good thing my best friends arrived and we reminisced a bit about high school, and they teased me to death about how much I liked Ross back then.

I couldn't help thinking how far we had all gone since high school, and how far we had yet to go.

"Maybe happiness is something that we can only pursue. And maybe we can actually never have it no matter what." Christopher Gardner

Christopher's life proved his theory, quoted above, wrong, as he was able to find happiness at the end of the movie, after blood, sweat and tears - literally. He pursued his dream and he eventually reached it.

I don't regret calling Ross Geller's name tonight, even if he turned out to be married. At our age, everyone's married, my friend texted me after I shared my little telenovela moment. Everyone except us, I texted her back. Anyway, marriage and happiness don't always go together, based on what I've heard. So it's happiness I pursue, and not necessarily marriage. The pursuit is as important as the destination.

I have already offered my state of life to the LORD, and if in the end it's just Him and me, then so be it. I know I could still be happy with that, as long as I know that out of His great love, it's His will for me. Happyness and joy, well if not in this life completely, then for sure in eternal life, those would be the order of the day, everyday.

Now Showing: Superman Returns

I just saw Superman Returns today, courtesy of a very generous soul (MMIII) who sponsored my ticket to Lingkod Greenhills’ block-off screening at Robinsons Pioneer. I am a very lucky girl, as the ticket cost a bit more than the regular screening, for it was part of a fundraising activity.

Expecting an intellectual review of the movie? Hop to the next blog, please, as I’m not about to give you one. I might just rave about Brandon Routh in a very senseless way here. Well, if Lois Lane can get a Pulitzer Prize for writing a piece entitled “Why the World Doesn’t Need Superman”, I can get away with writing anything Superman-related, for he IS, as The Daily Planet’s editor Perry White puts it, “the news” these days.

I entered the movie house thinking that this Superman had some pretty high standards to live up to. After all, the first Hollywood movie I saw on the big screen was “Superman II”, way back when. And I loved it, as I’ve always wished I could fly, and this guy Superman, I saw that he could take you places up, up and away. Kal-el/Clark Kent/Christopher Reeve also starred in “Somewhere in Time”, one of my favorite movies as a child.

The other Superman sequels didn’t quite make the same impact on me. I borrowed some of the DC comic books but soon grew tired of all the twists in the hero from Smallville’s storyline that the writers loved to concoct.

Still, it was high time for Superman to return. Christopher Reeve died leaving his fans sad and awakened to the fact that he was not a superhero, after all. He was a very good man and he and his wife touched many lives. But he left a hole for another hero in our lives.

Bryan Singer did so well in his X-Men films that I was looking forward to what he was going to do with the all-American hero. What he directed was a story that slowly unfolded, taking into account the vast Superman knowledge of his audience and sharing with them discoveries about the superhero's past, present and future. We wondered if a hospital could help him, and we were not surprised. We wondered if he loved Lois Lane, yet we knew all along.

I’m thankful that while they were touring the city one night, Lois didn’t break into song anymore. She didn’t ask if Superman could read her mind, because frankly that wasn’t one of his powers anyway, and the moment just was better without that cheesy love song playing in the background. I agree, sure, that anyone would like to be “the friend” that Superman “would fly to”, but wordless music captured it better.

Lois reminded me of Mr. Kenya. The latter is a character concocted by the members of Lingkod Los Baños, who referred to himself as a man “who belonged to a country that could never be mine”. Hindi iyo, hindi akin, Kenya. (“Not yours, not mine, his". Or hers. No direct translation for a joke!)

Going back to Ms. Lane, well I really pity the girl with the silken curls and the successful career (where did she get the time to get a pedicure amidst all that action being supermom, supergirlfriend, superjournalist? It's a fantasy movie, all right). She’s in love with a man who could never be hers. The real "greatest American hero" is not yours, Lois, not mine, but theirs (the world’s).

Lois needed Superman, that’s why she wrote passionately about why the world didn’t. She tried to convince herself. She got the award, but in tears, because she lied. And when Superman returned, she couldn’t take back the words that had already been said. Good thing that though the kryptonite-allergic guy in the blue-and-red suit could not read minds, he could read between the lines. Lois could write many more lines, but still the truth would come out.

It was reported that Superman was in Manila. Where was I at that time??? Whom did he rescue? Ok, I lied too. I don’t find it that cheesy. In fact, I know the song a bit well. So sing it with me. I know you like it too.

I end on this note, fading away now and will go to sleep dreaming of a superhero named… Brandon Routh. (Sisters who watched all agreed with me, he’s a cutie.)

Can You Read My Mind
Maureen McGovern
Lyrics - Music: Leslie Bricusse and John Williams

Can you read my mind?
Do you know what it is you do to me?
Don't know who you are
Just a friend from another star

Here I am like a kid at a school
Holding hands with a god, I'm a fool
Will you look at me quivering
Like a little girl shivering?
You can see right through me

Can you read my mind?
Can you picture the things I'm thinking of?
Wondering why you are
All the wonderful things you are

You can fly, you belong to the sky
You and I could belong to each other
If you need a friend,I'm the one to fly to
If you need to be loved, (to be loved)
Here I am, read my mind!

INSTRUMENTAL

BRIDGE

Will you look at me quivering
Like a little girl shivering?
You can see right through me
If you need a friend,I'm the one to fly to (big finish now..)
If you need to be loved,
Here I am, read my mind!

Read my mind!

Good night, folks. One has to be asleep in order to be able to wake up properly.

Close to You

On its second day of showing, I watched Close to You starring John Lloyd Cruz, Bea Alonzo, and introducing Sam Milby.

This is the same girl who wrote all those reflections yesterday.

I drove to Cavite earlier today with my parents. Since our car plate number ends with an “8”, it’s banned from the Metro Manila streets until 7 p.m. so we whiled away the time at SM Shoemart Bacoor. We considered our options and chose this movie because we wanted to watch something light and entertaining. Also, Papa insisted that we should see more Filipino movies. We agreed.

It was the first movie I saw since coming back from the U.S. last January. It was the first Filipino movie that I saw in a very long time.

After watching the trailer on TV, I could already predict the ending. This was a prolonged Close-Up commercial that was built around kilig theme songs, stars with a regular following, and a newcomer from the first Pinoy Big Brother. The latter, with my apologies to the fans, was a TV show that I could not stand five minutes of so the significance of watching Sam Milby’s first big picture was lost on me.

The one actor who held the movie together was John Lloyd Cruz. I didn’t know that he had uncanny comic timing. He managed to look forlorn without being too intense. He balanced Bea’s self-conscious, saccharin-sweet acting with his no-nonsense delivery of his lines – using just the right amount of sadness, longing, and playfulness in his eyes, as called for by each scene.

For those who do not live in Manila, the movie is about childhood best friends and how they realized that they were made for each other. If I had to watch another Filipina romantic-comedy heroine with a flower shop business, I’d write a letter of complaint on a national broadsheet. Please, screenwriters, I do believe that Filipinas have proven themselves successful in other equally-creative fields. I realize it is a cool business to appear to run but it has already been used repeatedly in recent films.

The other actors, headed by Nova Villa, Melanie Marquez, and Buboy Garuvillo turned in cardboard performances. I was surprised to see Techie Agbayani in the role of a mother, and was delighted to watch how she fared in it.

I’ve been to all the places that the actors visited in the film – Dumaguete, Bohol, Davao and Singapore, so I felt like I was traveling with them.

I watched the film in SM Bacoor so just imagine all the shrieking and screaming during the Close-Up moments. My parents and I endured all the racket, after all, we were killing time until we could drive back to Quezon City. The movie ended at around 7:30 p.m. We stood up, gathered our belongings, said to ourselves it wasn’t as bad as we expected, and headed home.

Another best friend movie came and went. There was a girl behind me who commented, “Sobrang realistic ng movie. As in nangyayari yan sa totoong buhay.”

I don’t know. Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn’t. But if we’re spending time on earth anyway, might as well do so in worthwhile relationships, even those that don’t give us the happy endings that we see on the big screen.

Afterwards, we can always stand up, pick up our bags, start walking, and find our way home.

My Favorite Scenes

My youngest sister Jeb’s favorite scenes in the movies, the ones that really made her sit at the edge of her seat, always involved the part where the lead character underwent intensive, back-breaking, soundtrack-worthy training. That was the case with The Karate Kid series – you bet she had the wax on-wax off classic memorized by heart – and the same went for Mulan, Strictly Ballroom, The Chronicles of Narnia, and most other films that she saw.

I used to think that I favored those scenes as well, until recently. This week I discovered that I much preferred those scenes of waiting in the movies. I liked the uncertainty, the agony, and the discovery that the hero/heroine went through. This usually happens towards the end of the movie, right after a gut-wrenching, painful experience so consumes the character’s good spirits and she (let’s quit pretending that I can relate to the “he’s”) decides to stop feverishly pursuing her dream, whatever it was, and she goes back to the basics. She lets go.

You can imagine these scenes with me. In Runaway Bride, this happened when Julia Robert’s character thought she almost lost Richard Gere’s character, and so she concentrated on her passion – making odd-looking lamps and finally selling them – and exercised like crazy (she loved to run). That way, when her love found her in the end, she was already complete, accomplished, and fit, all by herself. It was in the space of waiting that she found who she really could be, without the demands brought about by wanting to please another person in her life. By then, the writers of the film thought she was ready to give and receive love like she had never done before.

In Love Affair and An Affair To Remember (my favorite chick flicks that my friend Saruman cannot stand), the period of waiting occurred while the star-crossed lovers spent six months apart, before and even after, the agreed-upon meeting at the top of the Empire State Building. She pursued her passion for music while he finally got a decent job and learned to earn money. They had no idea what the other person was going through during that time of distance, but they each tried to become the best that they could be.

These quiet, sad scenes always pave the way for a happier ending. In Bridget Jones’ Diary, after breaking up with a guy who cheated her (the incorrigible Hugh Grant), she lost the weight and did well in her job. She threw away the pathetic books that filled her nightstand, and purchased self-help books. She grew more comfortable with herself and thus was able to consider herself worthy of the love that was offered to her by the irresistible Colin Firth.

Those scenes in between the highlight of the films and their production-number, fireworks-inducing endings sent the message to the viewers that they had to start looking inwardly if they wanted change in their lives. War, sickness, loss, heartache or betrayal had not killed them yet and they had to find what it was that was worth living for. In some cases, the heroines got swept off their feet (Pretty Woman’s white limousine/carriage and long umbrella/sword is a good example), while in others, the characters simply moved on. The person or situation they were waiting for never came about, and the movie ended with them being forever changed by the waiting and content to be so changed.

I just might be in such a scene right now. This week has been a journey in picking up the pieces of what a tumultuous, but exciting, year 2005 brought me and concentrating on what I am really about as an individual. I have learned that letting go of music, writing, dance, reading, friends, cooking and other things I loved just because some dreams ended with a loud, hapless thug the past few years wasn’t healthy. And even though the work that I am in right now is still being defined, I have come to believe that work does not define me. In Fr. Jboy's words, Ella, if you're happy, stop being guilty.

So after the changes and leave-takings that are ongoing in this movie, and before any conclusions are reached as to the major areas in my life (career, mission, passion, family, and/or lack thereof), I am here, now, waiting. I am not in training, because that means there’s a defined agenda, a schedule, and a goal in mind. I have been through so much of that all my life. I have seen some triumphs and had my share of failures. Right now, I think what I'm called to do is to polish, get rid of, take up, and let go of.

Once again, I am busy waiting.

Now Showing: The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe

I love Lucy. I'm not referring to the TV series, although I saw a tribute to the late Lucille Ball in Universal Studios a couple of weeks ago. I love Lucy Pevensie, played by adorable little actress Georgie Henley. She could make anyone believe in the existence of Santa Claus, the goodness of Aslan, and the presence of Narnia.

I read the book "The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe" by C.S. Lewis when I was very young and then watched the musical presented by Filipino theater company Trumpets when I was in law school. Afterwards, my Ate gifted me with a book containing the entire Chronicles of Narnia and I read the other six volumes in the series. I was then one of the millions waiting for the lion, the witch, and the famous wardrobe to hit the big screen.

The Chronicles of Narnia, brought to the screen by the certified feel-good masters of Disney, slowly unwrapped like a package of Turkish Delight. It erased the dark memory of King Long from my family's imagination (see previous post for my comments on the King Kong remake). This movie made fantasy a happy reality for us. The special effects made sense and were essential to the story and were, in fact, flawless. The actors - played by four children, a witch, and a lion - were perfectly cast. Lucy's innocence and kind-heartedness captured the audience and reminded us all that there was no winter too cold that Aslan could not thaw into spring.

Christmas is the best time to watch this film. For unto us a child was born, but he died in our place, like what Aslan did for Edmund. And then He rose again, putting our fears to rest and bringing our hopes into reality. The priest at mass yesterday said that we should look at Christmas from the point of view of the Resurrection so that we could see the whole picture. This film's theme does exactly that, for it's not just about the adventures of four children who had to face their own war, but it introduces us to the world of Narnia, where Aslan reigns and brings life, one that may be lived to the fullest.

In Narnia, love does not kill, but it brings life - to trees, rivers, humans, fauns, and beavers alike. Humans rule as stewards of Narnia, waiting for Aslan's return. It is a story of hope and a story of faith as well.

I am looking forward to the next Narnia movie, but until that time comes, I have enough good memories to live by, for I believe in Narnia, and I wait with the Pevensie children for the coming of Aslan.

Now Showing: King Kong

Critics are raving about Peter Jackson's remake of the movie King Kong. My family and I beg to disagree. We came up with other titles for the movie:

"So Long, King Kong: What's taking you so long?"
"The Long Kong"
"Making the King Kong Too Long"

We went last Sunday night to the movies not because we wanted to see the huge gorilla but because it was Peter Jackson who directed it. Like the rest of the world, we wanted to see this genius' take on a monstrous story and be swept in the fantastic world of movie magic. After all, we saw some of the movie sets they used during our recent visit to Universal Studios in Hollywood.

Peter Jackson flexed his directing muscles all right, but clearly he was entertaining himself and not his audience. On the way home from the three-hour long hodgepodge of drama, action and comedy rolled into one, my sister, her bf, and my mom felt cheated of three hours of our lives.

Maybe Peter Jackson thought he was making another trilogy:

Part One: How the Blonde Girl Won a Role in an Imaginary Movie
Part Two: The Island and the Overkill of Monsters
Part Three: King Kong: Lost in New York

If George Lucas could use a scriptwriter, in my book Peter Jackson needs an editor, one who is more considerate of his audience's time. It took him an hour to get to the island and introduce the hero of the film and another hour to end the movie. Waiting for the film to end was like waiting for the dentist to finish your root canal. It was painful, yet you had to sit through everything to endure it.

I am an ice skating fan but there is nothing cute about King Kong sliding through ice while the residents of New York city were having the scare of their lives. I have no problem with temporary suspension of disbelief but this time, director Peter Jackson went too far. There were too many closeups on the beautiful, skinny heroine and too many bugs and too many monsters. Director Peter Jackson tried to communicate several themes at the same time - a satire on Hollywood, a tribute to great movies, a remake that seeks to improve on the original, a love story, and countless other sub-themes. One could see Moulin Rouge, Jurassic Park, Chicago and other films woven into this one's storyline.

My family and I would have appreciated the film had it been separated into three separate movies, one hour each.

Don't take my word for it, though, go watch the movie, but do it only when you don't have work the next day, otherwise you won't have the time to spare for this.

I am a fan of Peter Jackson's LOTR trilogy. Maybe he did this film thinking of the pressure fans like me placed on his shoulders to come up with something half as good as the three classics he already accomplished.

You tried too hard, Mr. Jackson. I would have been satisfied with the love story angle alone (but that's just me!). Other people would have survived on the gore factor. Still, others would have been entertained enough with the vaudeville act.

You can't please all of us at the same time. We would appreciate your work more if you had kept your focus.

Now Showing: Love Actually

Star Movies is showing one of my favorite movies next month! Love Actually, the movie I wrote a review about and recommended to all my friends, will be shown on cable TV. Do find a way to watch it if you haven't seen it yet! It's all there - romantic love, filial love, puppy love - and the take is so raw and natural that all viewers are bound to connect with at least one character or storyline!

On another note, I read another woman's book last night, read it from cover to cover in one sitting. I liked her writing style and began to dislike mine.

On still another note, I got a surprise corner in life today. A development I neither planned for nor expected happened. I was invited to a commitment that I feel soo not ready for. I had little time to discern and so asked the people who were within reach if they thought I should give this a shot. They all encouraged me to go. One man discouraged me to do this a few weeks ago but I could not get in touch with him today. I wonder what he would think. What's important, really, is where the Lord is taking me with this. I have a feeling He's the one responsible for this invitation at this time. I hope that I don't make a mess out of this decision, as I've always prepared for big things in life. Sigh. Let go and relax. Breathe. All shall be well. The world would continue to turn beautifully even if you don't over-analyze everything.

That's why I can't wait to see again "Love, Actually". I can't find the screening schedule yet. It's movies, and books, and music, that distract me from too much thinking.

His Lines Stink (or Why George Lucas Should Have Hired a Scriptwriter)

I finally watched Episode III last night, when a good friend (who claims not to read my blog, but reads other people's, especially Star Wars fans' - what a friend!) was kind enough to watch it for the third time just to accompany me.

In two words, I would say that the film is "not bad". Much has been said about it already. Lucas is a special effects genius and should be hailed for the awesome production that he once more signed onto the big screen. I could predict the lines, though, not because I'm a huge fan who knows his mind, but because the script was so predictable and anybody could have come up with that had George just given them the plot. He would have had more time on his hands then.

In fact, that probably should have been best. As my friend Ted already pointed out, George should have concentrated on perfecting his special effects and just delegated the writing to someone who could, uhh, write. It doesn't take a genius to craft the words the way George wants them anyway! My friend and I filled in the blanks and anticipating the characters' words while watching the movie last night, and it did not make a difference that it was my first time to watch it.

Some scenes were downright pathetic. I'm not quoting verbatim but I believe I captured the general idea of the first scene that made me squirm, to the amusement of my seatmate:

(Anakin to Padme, who was brushing her long curly hair with a Biiig Brush)

"You look so beautiful."

Padme turns around, smiles at him, and says, "That's because I'm so in-love."

Anakin, smitten guy that he is, replies, "No, no, it's because I'M so in-love."

Which reminds me, I was NOT able to predict that exchange! Nothing prepared me for dialogue that cheesy. The two lost me in their saccharin-infused language, and when I paid attention again, I could not believe they quoted Shakespeare by asking if love is indeed blind!

As I said above, however, the movie is not bad. My friend told me to watch out for more exciting lines such as "You're breaking my heart", so when I had significantly lowered my expectations regarding the script, I was able to enjoy the movie more. Thank you, George, for attempting to explain everything. I was not able to reconcile all the loose ends in my head but what the heck, just to see Master Yoda fly and kick butt is already relaxing for me.

So Anakin turned to the Dark Side and became Darth Vader. I could not relate with him fully, but I willingly suspended my disbelief. I would have expected a Jedi to battle with his own desires and feelings more successfully. Or in the middle of locking light-sabers with his mentor Obi-wan, Anakin could have paused to ask himself, "Why am I doing this?" Anakin was able to shut out his conscience fully, I reckon, enough to hurt those whom he loved the most and to "turn into the very thing he was fighting against".

Despite these comments, I'm still willing to suspend disbelief once more. I could say the lines with the characters then. Watch it again, I will.

Shall I Dance?

I wanted to watch "A Very Long Engagement" tonight but it was no longer showing at SM Fairview. My mother and I decided to watch "Shall We Dance?" instead. As we came out of the movie house less than two hours later, we compared notes and agreed that we were both happily entertained by the film.

Out with the minuses first. The movie is not as evenly-paced as I want my last-full-shows to be. It started on a rather flat note, with Richard Gere's character narrating in a monotone and making me think like I could predict the movie's ending two minutes after the opening credits. Eventually, however, it was able to catch my full attention. I just wanted to ignore a scene that was a cross between a Broadway musical and a Disney cartoon.

A movie about a workaholic lawyer who wanted to search for his passion would eventually make me sit up straight anyway. I also love dance sequences on film. There is something about dancers on the silver screen that sends me dreaming. I must have watched "Strictly Ballroom" a thousand times with my sister Mel when we were younger. Anytime we felt bored, we put the tape in the VCR and watched the movie while saying all the characters' lines. We clapped so hard everytime the pasa doble scene came. We discovered Baz Luhrmann even before he did "Romeo and Juliet" with Leonardo! As long as there is dancing in a movie, I would consider watching it. I have always learned profound lessons in life from "dance films".

Shall We Dance is a must-see for married couples. It's largely about the choices that people make when their successful lives get routinary. John Clark (played by Gere) had a charming family and a successful career, yet it was only when he took up dancing that he found himself. I honor his character for the choice that he made in the end, which should serve as an example to all married men. Wives could encourage their husbands to watch the film by using Jennifer Lopez as a must-see. I wond how she could afford her designer outfits and flawless makeup with an assistant dance instructor's salary, but apparently we should overlook those details because this movie is making a larger-than-life picture of passions and dreams. A beautiful woman is part of every man's dream, I would reckon. The film may have J. Lo's best assets to boast about, but Susan Sarandon's performance as the perfect wife who did not know what hit her marriage gets my two thumbs up. Best supporting nods go to the detective and his wise assistant! Actually the more I think about it, the more I realize how fond I now am of each character in the film. They remind me of all my classmates in the dance school that is life.

They don't make dance studios like that anymore. At least not on my part of the globe. It was only in law school and Lingkod that I learned to dance confidently. Although it is not my ultimate passion (it is some other lawyer's, one who's very close to me), dancing, like Paris, is always a good idea for me.

Maybe, like Richard Gere's character, I should let Jennifer Lopez' figure inspire me to take up dancing more seriously. It sure broke the monotony of his life as a lawyer. In a Hollywood moment, he held a red rose in his hand and declared, "A dance needs a partner. And my partner is here." I think my mom's tear fell during that scene.

Passion can be tempered, as the movie taught us. It can be channeled to a more productive endeavor. Shall I dance then? I ask myself. Given the right studio, teacher, and of course, partner, why not?

Post-Movie Marathon Thoughts

If my life were made into a movie, it would have '80's music in its soundtrack.

I saw "Before Sunset" with my parents at the Shang Cineplex today. There were two other couples who looked like senior citizens in the movie house with us. Less than twenty people came to see the 1:20 p.m. showing. I learned that at the next showing, three of my friends watched without planning to bump into each other and they ended up having coffee afterwards. I would have loved to join them, but I was on driver duty. Besides, it's a Sunday - Family Day. I spend time with friends six days a week already.

I think it's great to bump into people we know at unexpected places and to be free to have coffee or tea with them afterwards. In my life-movie I would drive around the city and go on with my day running into good friends at the drug store, the gas station, and even at church. I wouldn't run into the people with whom I would rather not see, of course. I would only be with the people I love to talk to and spend time with. Of course that movie is never going to be made but I like to plan about it sometimes.

My mom didn't like "Before Sunset" as much as my father and I did. The movie revolved around two characters who did not stop talking and it thrilled us to follow their conversations and drink in the nuances in their lines. They could not stop talking about the one night they spent nine years ago, along with religion, politics, and every other topic under the sun. That looked like the perfect relationship to me, with the perfect romantic background - Paris. I love to talk and I love to listen. I can only be with a person who would love to listen to me and who would make so much sense, or make me laugh so hard, that I could spend the rest of my life listening to him. He is already part of my make-believe movie, you bet.

I must have inherited my father's passion for books and movies. A few hours after we got home, I played "50 First Dates" on DVD. This movie is about a girl who impaired her short-term memory and who had her dad, brother, boyfriend, doctor and the rest of her little island creating a comfortable life for her. I enjoyed how Adam Sandler's character made Drew Barrymore fall in love with him all over again every single day. What a totally Hollywood concept.

Upon reflection, I realized the contrast in the two movies. The first one was about all the little details that the lovers could not forget and that made them long for each other all those years that they were apart. Between the two of them, they wrote a book, a song, and two journals about their memorable night. The second movie was about how love could create a memory deeper than what medical science could predict, for the girl might have been incapable of remembering her boyfriend/fiancee/husband but everyday she is able to realize how deeply she has fallen for him, even without her memories. She was able to paint his portrait from a memory that she did not know she had, deep in her heart.

So where is love stored in our brain? I dug into my own memories of love, and chose to close them one by one immediately after.

I'd rather make up my own movie not based on memories, but on dreams. What was it the girl from "Before Sunset" said? Memories are not forever, they change as long as we live to change them. Something like that.

I'm a girl with a good memory, a computer and an Internet connection. Regarding those memories I'd rather forget, I could still change them, with or without the other characters in my life. All I have to do is write....

The Verdict on The Notebook

I watched "The Notebook" awhile ago. I've heard so much about it through media and my friends. A friend's sister commented that it was sappy and cheesy. Two priests, however, recommended the movie for its lessons on love. Once I've set my mind on watching a movie, conflicting reviews like these only ignite the desire in me to watch it myself and form my own opinion thereafter.

The verdict: it's just a movie. I doubt if it could ever happen in real life; at least not in the world I live and breathe in. Maybe I just could not relate with the female lead that's why it didn't affect me as much as other movies did.

The movie's not all that bad. It had its share of lines, such as "Your mother is my home", and moments, like the rain-soaked kiss. I would have to agree with one favorable review I encountered, that the movie teaches us that Love is a Decision. I would have to hand it to Allie because she decided to love, and did not simply give in to her emotions.

The movie resorted to several formulas, though. The supportive, ordinary, she's-not-the-one woman in Noah's life; and this other guy I can't tell you about unless you've seen the movie --> their martyrdom and heroism are straight out of Sleepless in Seattle (think Bill Pullman) and You've Got Mail (Greg Kinnear being sooo relieved that Meg Ryan wasn't in-love with him anymore), but of course with some evident bitterness. Rich girl-poor guy/ disapproving parents, hmm I can think of several Romnick/Sheryl movies along these lines. This is formula love story with great cinematography, a few good lines, and some intense moments.

I wouldn't go as far as agreeing, however, that it's one great love story. I've heard better stories. I've seen better movies. They may not have come true for me either, but they left me with a happier feeling in the end.

As far as my little world is concerned, then, this is the verdict. Perhaps I just watched with gray-colored spectacles. Or maybe I need to pray in order to believe in miracles.

Love, Actually

Finally, they made a movie about love: Love, Actually. I’m writing because of what the movie did to me. This opinion might not be shared by everyone, though, so just take what I write with a huge grain of salt. I’m coming from a rather extended period of desolation. My recent retreats did not quite refresh me the way they used to (aside: this is because of what I’m going through and not because of the retreats ha). My last visit to the spa for a Swedish massage did not relax me. My latest haircut did not ease my burdens. The list goes on. I was in this unusual state when I saw this movie last night. Hence, I might have been in the best condition to appreciate it.

The point of the movie “Love, Actually” is so simple, and yet in its very simplicity, we have often taken it for granted. The makers of the movie said that Love, Actually, is all around us, if we but take the time to see. Watching the movie was like eating from a box of Godiva chocolates. I didn’t want the movie to end. From the collective sigh in the SM Megamall crowd I joined, it seemed I was not alone in having trouble detaching from the delightful gift of a movie that was “Love, Actually”.

Just out of habit, I always seek the romantic angle in movies. From Terminator to The Secret Garden, no matter what the classification of the film is, my silver lining is always the happiness of the hearts of the characters. For this movie tagged as the “ultimate romantic comedy”, I was not disappointed. From the opening scene up to the closing credits, the movie deliberately reminded its audience to focus on love. The realism and pessimism that the world has developed especially on matters of the heart had no room in this movie. Of course there were several “worldly” characters like the singer who made a huge comeback by saying all the wrong things during interviews, the employee who tempted her boss into having an extramarital affair with her, and many others. Like all movies, discernment is needed here because not all of the things the characters did should be emulated.

There were, however, priceless scenes that should not be missed. One boy asks, “Is there anything worse than the excruciating agony of being in-love?” The person he is talking to, along with the movie audience, cannot help but agree. There was one particular dance number by Britain’s Prime Minister that made the movie worth my P60! :) I appreciated it that the actors wore little makeup. Eyebags bulged. Wrinkles showed. They portrayed real people. It reminded me of the play “Memorandum”, (naks! Pakisabi sa theatre group) which emphasized that there is “beauty in the ordinary”. The movie was not just about romantic love, but showed love for family, friends, officemates, bosses, employees, brothers, and children. I think the most notable dramatic performance was by Emma Thompson. Rowan Atkinson, Mr. Bean himself, was exquisitely funny in one scene.

It showed me that no matter how high the walls we put up against feelings, love would seep through the cracks somehow and we’d just discover that we are in love. This is very dangerous of course, but for at least two hours I saw the beauty rather than the danger of falling in love. I saw that because of love, one could learn a foreign language in a week. In the name of love, one could learn to play a new instrument, and to play it well. For the love of one’s children, one could contain one’s heartbreak and still make life work.

The movie tugged at my heartstrings and succeeded in making me pause just to see the love around me. I watched it with my mother. Underneath the complications of our relationship, there was so much love there. But the highlight of my day was the tight hug of my nephew in the early afternoon. He actually wasn’t hugging me; he was forcing me to sit still so that I could see how the bad guy in his Teen Titans online game turned into a friend after being beaten into a pulp. After watching the movie last night, the memory I preserved was that my beloved Miko gave me one tight, unforgettable hug. As the character I had a crush on said, “It’s enough. For now.”

Give yourselves a relaxing break and watch that movie now. It works even through walls of cynicism, I’m telling you. I agree what I read about the movie, that every person who sees it would be able to fully relate with one character or with one storyline. Please watch it from the very beginning. Enjoy! :)

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

I just saw Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon with my mother. I really, really liked the movie. The young heroine was mighty stupid to pass up the chance to be trained by a great and loving Master like the man played by Chow Yun Fat. I wish I had a Master like that to pick me up, tell me I have great potential, be patient and firm with me, and let me become the best person I could be. Of course I also wanted her passionte relationship with the handsome bandit Dark Cloud. She botched up that job, too. Some people just don't know how to appreciate what they have.

More than a decade ago, a good friend gave me a poster that said: May you find what you want in life, know it when you see it, and have the good luck to get it and keep it. I hung that poster for a long time in our room back in Sta. Mesa. When we moved here to Don Antonio, I had to let the old poster go but the words, I kept.

Just this week four of my very close friends, on separate occasions & in different ways, have told me that I've forgotten how to do that - to enjoy the moment, to live the here and now, to stop being anxious. I was told I have to stop willing myself to BECOME, that I have to JUST BE. I was asked to stop wishing this world would be like the utopian world I am living inside my head. Or else I would be as unhappy and unsatisfied as Ally McBeal, whose best friend John Cage told her once that she would never be happy. I've long ago stopped wishing for the anorexic and high-profile life of Ally McBeal. I removed the nickname ELLAMCBEAL from my cellphone screen the day after I found out that I flunked the bar. That wasn't me anymore. She's also had some very unhealthy relationships with men. I don't want that either.

Some 2,000 years ago a man walked this earth to offer happiness greater than Utopia. He was patient, firm, and like the Master in Crouching Tiger, gave His life to save that of His followers. I want to take this week to fully appreciate the power of that sacrifice and what it means to me today. You see, I already have that Master who offered to train me. I've just been too stubborn and lazy to follow Him. Sometimes I even purposely turn my back on Him, ignoring the fact that I hurt Him everytime I do that. My Lord Jesus Christ, thank you for stopping me dead on my tracks, calling me by name, and offering me a fuller life. May I have no other Master in life other than you. I do not want to leap to my death knowing that I have caused you irreversible pain and betrayal, which is what happened to the young heroine in the movie. No, while we are still together in this world, I want to explore the richness of life that You offer. I know that this world is just training, my Lord. So please train me for Heaven.

Next week I will become something else - either a lawyer or a two-time bar flunker. My life will change permanently either way. I could do two things - continue being the anxious, control freak that I am, or let go and just BE. For no matter how hard I did work reviewing for the bar exams, ultimately there are too many things beyond my control. My strength and my courage is the Lord, my Savior.

Your prayers would count too, my friends. Not just for me but for the whole batch who took the exams last September. Thank you so much!