I want to part the clouds so I can see
Why GOD is doing this to me;
He gives a glimpse of the Promised Land,
But the road looks so crooked from where I stand!
I heard You, LORD, you told me to walk;
Yet at every turn there's a stumbling block.
I look at the sky where my steps are plotted;
And wonder why down here looks so wretched.
With hands upraised, I surrender to You;
I want to obey what You told me to do.
I close my eyes and plod among thorns,
While fiery coals sear through flesh to my bones.
I kneel down, so weak and beaten;
I turn to GOD and the words that are written:
"The LORD will make good His purpose for me."
Does that mean all this pain is necessary?
I want to turn back to my old routine;
To give up on this whole pain-obedience thing.
So JESUS again spoke into my heart,
"Just a little more patience and My promises will start."
His voice so loving and eyes penetrating,
I show Him where my wounds are bleeding.
One gentle touch and I am slowly healed,
Though still unsure what all these will yield.
Then I hear a melody, faint but clear;
The music comes from my falling tears!
This is pure joy that is taking place,
For I am in the middle of JESUS' embrace.
No longer alone, helpless and afraid,
He reminds me that my sins have been paid.
Surely Someone who knows and loves me this much,
Shall not withhold what I sincerely ask.
Aware of His presence, assured of His promise,
I begin to trust in His powerful message.
I allow myself a small hopeful smile,
And count on things I haven't imagined in a while.
My faith walk is not the least bit easy,
But I sense that it was made especially to suit me.
So I do not question and doubt GOD's promise anymore,
And I shall prepare my heart for whatever He has in store.
Wednesday, January 30, 2002
Monday, January 07, 2002
Believe (The Lord of the Rings Movie Review)
Do you feel like a king who refuses to take his throne because of fear of the evil and weakness that he suspects run in his blood?
Do you feel like a hobbit, small and unknown, on whom a great task is assigned and who wishes his prayers for adventures away from his happy hometown were never answered?
Do you feel like a wizard, old and wise, who feels alone, burdened and betrayed, yet who has to fulfill his part in protecting the races from the evil that threatens to destroy the world?
Have you ever doubted if you were any match for the challenges set before you, unsure whether you have it in you to conquer boldly your enemies who are closing in on you?
If there ever was a movie to rebuild your self-confidence, if there ever was a movie to make you believe in your own potential for greatness, that movie has got to be "The Fellowship of the Ring". It is sure to stir the adventurer in you: the fighter, the winner, the dreamer and the believer. As JRR Tolkien's characters come to life in this movie, you cannot help but be swept away by the bravery and loyalty they displayed amidst the darkness and chaos surrounding them. You cannot help but imagine yourself as part of that exclusive fellowship, proud to represent your race and to fight side by side with the anointed heroes of all the other races that inhabit Middle Earth.
Sometimes in life our fears overwhelm as and hinder us from taking any further steps. We resist greatness because we are afraid of failure and of its corollary pain. We deny our destiny, as determined by the blood that runs through our veins, because of fear. We refuse to accept what is offered to us and even go to the extent of wishing we have never come across them because of the responsibilities attached. Thus, we miss out on life. We forego our dreams. We live in mediocrity. We lead a comfortable life, probably, but one that is bereft of the glory that could have been ours had we been more willing to play our roles with passion. This was where I was
coming from when I saw the movie last weekend.
The wizard Gandalf, left with no choice, entrusted into Frodo Baggin's safekeeping the one ring that could destroy mankind. Frodo trusted Gandalf and met the challenge head on, pushing his fears aside, fighting the tempting offers that the ring whispers everyday. But Gandalf did not leave Frodo alone. In fact, he took a mean wizard-level beating because he stood up against evil to protect what is good. As if being hurled against mighty bolted doors was not enough, Gandalf had to die in the hands of an ancient enemy, to protect Frodo and the rest of the fellowship of the ring. Gandalf asked Frodo to follow him, yet he watched Frodo's back, and yes, died for
him. Now this story seems to be very familiar, especially to us Christians. Mr. Gandalf does not seem to have made original decisions then, because one Man already asked us to follow Him, to be different, and to stand up for righteousness. This Man did not leave us alone in our quest, either. He even went before us, faced the dangers for us, took the beatings for us, and died to save us all.
With Gandalf gone, Frodo feels alone but continues to pursue the mission that Gandalf asked him to do. Now I will let you in on a common secret, and that is, that Gandalf has not really left Frodo entirely. He may be physically absent, but he will be with Frodo as he fulfills his mission,
every step of the way. Because he will finish what he has begun in the little unsuspecting hobbit's life.
I entered the moviehouse last Sunday struggling with some life-direction decisions. I knew God was inviting me to give more and to leave my comfort zone for him but I had grown accustomed to my little world that any thought of pain, failure and suffering led me to shut out God's voice. Our relentless God spoke to me through the movie, then, and showed me what I refused to see. That He wouldn't ask me to do something that I could not do, despite my size, limitations and weaknesses. That He would never leave me alone. That He has set me apart for a specific plan He has in mind. And that there is glory in boldly pursuing His will in my life, beyond what my
eyes can see, beyond my imagination.
When I was a teenage reader of the Tolkien trilogy, the books mainly made me imagine how Legolas and Aragorn looked like, but did not really have a spiritual dimension for me. Today, I did gawk at swift-footed, sharp-shooting Legolas. I did swoon over brave and noble Aragorn. More importantly, however, I started to listen to God's call for warriors to fight the good fight of faith again. I began to believe again in God's love, in God's promise. I began to believe I could do more through my mission again. I left the moviehouse feeling like I could do anything, by God's grace. And that's a feeling I would recommend for all of you, brothers and sisters. Go ahead and watch that movie. I might even go with you to watch it again, for another dose of magical inspiration.
Do you feel like a hobbit, small and unknown, on whom a great task is assigned and who wishes his prayers for adventures away from his happy hometown were never answered?
Do you feel like a wizard, old and wise, who feels alone, burdened and betrayed, yet who has to fulfill his part in protecting the races from the evil that threatens to destroy the world?
Have you ever doubted if you were any match for the challenges set before you, unsure whether you have it in you to conquer boldly your enemies who are closing in on you?
If there ever was a movie to rebuild your self-confidence, if there ever was a movie to make you believe in your own potential for greatness, that movie has got to be "The Fellowship of the Ring". It is sure to stir the adventurer in you: the fighter, the winner, the dreamer and the believer. As JRR Tolkien's characters come to life in this movie, you cannot help but be swept away by the bravery and loyalty they displayed amidst the darkness and chaos surrounding them. You cannot help but imagine yourself as part of that exclusive fellowship, proud to represent your race and to fight side by side with the anointed heroes of all the other races that inhabit Middle Earth.
Sometimes in life our fears overwhelm as and hinder us from taking any further steps. We resist greatness because we are afraid of failure and of its corollary pain. We deny our destiny, as determined by the blood that runs through our veins, because of fear. We refuse to accept what is offered to us and even go to the extent of wishing we have never come across them because of the responsibilities attached. Thus, we miss out on life. We forego our dreams. We live in mediocrity. We lead a comfortable life, probably, but one that is bereft of the glory that could have been ours had we been more willing to play our roles with passion. This was where I was
coming from when I saw the movie last weekend.
The wizard Gandalf, left with no choice, entrusted into Frodo Baggin's safekeeping the one ring that could destroy mankind. Frodo trusted Gandalf and met the challenge head on, pushing his fears aside, fighting the tempting offers that the ring whispers everyday. But Gandalf did not leave Frodo alone. In fact, he took a mean wizard-level beating because he stood up against evil to protect what is good. As if being hurled against mighty bolted doors was not enough, Gandalf had to die in the hands of an ancient enemy, to protect Frodo and the rest of the fellowship of the ring. Gandalf asked Frodo to follow him, yet he watched Frodo's back, and yes, died for
him. Now this story seems to be very familiar, especially to us Christians. Mr. Gandalf does not seem to have made original decisions then, because one Man already asked us to follow Him, to be different, and to stand up for righteousness. This Man did not leave us alone in our quest, either. He even went before us, faced the dangers for us, took the beatings for us, and died to save us all.
With Gandalf gone, Frodo feels alone but continues to pursue the mission that Gandalf asked him to do. Now I will let you in on a common secret, and that is, that Gandalf has not really left Frodo entirely. He may be physically absent, but he will be with Frodo as he fulfills his mission,
every step of the way. Because he will finish what he has begun in the little unsuspecting hobbit's life.
I entered the moviehouse last Sunday struggling with some life-direction decisions. I knew God was inviting me to give more and to leave my comfort zone for him but I had grown accustomed to my little world that any thought of pain, failure and suffering led me to shut out God's voice. Our relentless God spoke to me through the movie, then, and showed me what I refused to see. That He wouldn't ask me to do something that I could not do, despite my size, limitations and weaknesses. That He would never leave me alone. That He has set me apart for a specific plan He has in mind. And that there is glory in boldly pursuing His will in my life, beyond what my
eyes can see, beyond my imagination.
When I was a teenage reader of the Tolkien trilogy, the books mainly made me imagine how Legolas and Aragorn looked like, but did not really have a spiritual dimension for me. Today, I did gawk at swift-footed, sharp-shooting Legolas. I did swoon over brave and noble Aragorn. More importantly, however, I started to listen to God's call for warriors to fight the good fight of faith again. I began to believe again in God's love, in God's promise. I began to believe I could do more through my mission again. I left the moviehouse feeling like I could do anything, by God's grace. And that's a feeling I would recommend for all of you, brothers and sisters. Go ahead and watch that movie. I might even go with you to watch it again, for another dose of magical inspiration.
Monday, April 09, 2001
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
I just saw Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon with my mother. I really, really liked the movie. The young heroine was mighty stupid to pass up the chance to be trained by a great and loving Master like the man played by Chow Yun Fat. I wish I had a Master like that to pick me up, tell me I have great potential, be patient and firm with me, and let me become the best person I could be. Of course I also wanted her passionte relationship with the handsome bandit Dark Cloud. She botched up that job, too. Some people just don't know how to appreciate what they have.
More than a decade ago, a good friend gave me a poster that said: May you find what you want in life, know it when you see it, and have the good luck to get it and keep it. I hung that poster for a long time in our room back in Sta. Mesa. When we moved here to Don Antonio, I had to let the old poster go but the words, I kept.
Just this week four of my very close friends, on separate occasions & in different ways, have told me that I've forgotten how to do that - to enjoy the moment, to live the here and now, to stop being anxious. I was told I have to stop willing myself to BECOME, that I have to JUST BE. I was asked to stop wishing this world would be like the utopian world I am living inside my head. Or else I would be as unhappy and unsatisfied as Ally McBeal, whose best friend John Cage told her once that she would never be happy. I've long ago stopped wishing for the anorexic and high-profile life of Ally McBeal. I removed the nickname ELLAMCBEAL from my cellphone screen the day after I found out that I flunked the bar. That wasn't me anymore. She's also had some very unhealthy relationships with men. I don't want that either.
Some 2,000 years ago a man walked this earth to offer happiness greater than Utopia. He was patient, firm, and like the Master in Crouching Tiger, gave His life to save that of His followers. I want to take this week to fully appreciate the power of that sacrifice and what it means to me today. You see, I already have that Master who offered to train me. I've just been too stubborn and lazy to follow Him. Sometimes I even purposely turn my back on Him, ignoring the fact that I hurt Him everytime I do that. My Lord Jesus Christ, thank you for stopping me dead on my tracks, calling me by name, and offering me a fuller life. May I have no other Master in life other than you. I do not want to leap to my death knowing that I have caused you irreversible pain and betrayal, which is what happened to the young heroine in the movie. No, while we are still together in this world, I want to explore the richness of life that You offer. I know that this world is just training, my Lord. So please train me for Heaven.
Next week I will become something else - either a lawyer or a two-time bar flunker. My life will change permanently either way. I could do two things - continue being the anxious, control freak that I am, or let go and just BE. For no matter how hard I did work reviewing for the bar exams, ultimately there are too many things beyond my control. My strength and my courage is the Lord, my Savior.
Your prayers would count too, my friends. Not just for me but for the whole batch who took the exams last September. Thank you so much!
More than a decade ago, a good friend gave me a poster that said: May you find what you want in life, know it when you see it, and have the good luck to get it and keep it. I hung that poster for a long time in our room back in Sta. Mesa. When we moved here to Don Antonio, I had to let the old poster go but the words, I kept.
Just this week four of my very close friends, on separate occasions & in different ways, have told me that I've forgotten how to do that - to enjoy the moment, to live the here and now, to stop being anxious. I was told I have to stop willing myself to BECOME, that I have to JUST BE. I was asked to stop wishing this world would be like the utopian world I am living inside my head. Or else I would be as unhappy and unsatisfied as Ally McBeal, whose best friend John Cage told her once that she would never be happy. I've long ago stopped wishing for the anorexic and high-profile life of Ally McBeal. I removed the nickname ELLAMCBEAL from my cellphone screen the day after I found out that I flunked the bar. That wasn't me anymore. She's also had some very unhealthy relationships with men. I don't want that either.
Some 2,000 years ago a man walked this earth to offer happiness greater than Utopia. He was patient, firm, and like the Master in Crouching Tiger, gave His life to save that of His followers. I want to take this week to fully appreciate the power of that sacrifice and what it means to me today. You see, I already have that Master who offered to train me. I've just been too stubborn and lazy to follow Him. Sometimes I even purposely turn my back on Him, ignoring the fact that I hurt Him everytime I do that. My Lord Jesus Christ, thank you for stopping me dead on my tracks, calling me by name, and offering me a fuller life. May I have no other Master in life other than you. I do not want to leap to my death knowing that I have caused you irreversible pain and betrayal, which is what happened to the young heroine in the movie. No, while we are still together in this world, I want to explore the richness of life that You offer. I know that this world is just training, my Lord. So please train me for Heaven.
Next week I will become something else - either a lawyer or a two-time bar flunker. My life will change permanently either way. I could do two things - continue being the anxious, control freak that I am, or let go and just BE. For no matter how hard I did work reviewing for the bar exams, ultimately there are too many things beyond my control. My strength and my courage is the Lord, my Savior.
Your prayers would count too, my friends. Not just for me but for the whole batch who took the exams last September. Thank you so much!
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