Tri-City Tour

I experienced God's bountiful blessings during my tri-city trip that ended this morning.

Upon arrival in Davao two weeks ago, it seemed like Murphy's Law was at work as everything that could go wrong decided to do so, all at the same time. Speakers were issued tickets to the wrong cities, cargo arrived at the wrong airports, printer drivers refused to work, handouts were improperly collated, and so on and so forth. It was a time to run to Jesus for comfort and strength, and He provided timely help for each catastrophe that I encountered.

I met old friends from Lingkod Davao and new friends from the project I worked on.


The disasters of the day were always resolved, and at night I had time to fellowship with friends. I saw Jack's Ridge, Nanay Bebeng's Restaurant, Ah Fat behind Victoria Plaza, Damosa, Waterfront (Davao Insular Hotel), Community Center, and BluGre Coffee. I ate lots of rambutan, pomelo, and mangosteen.

The Mindanao leg of the training series I was part of ended well, but instead of resting in my Cebu hotel for the weekend, I crossed the seas to Ormoc to visit my friends from Lingkod. I joined their Culture Weekend and talked to the participants about Personal Order.

Then I spent quality time with Lingkod friends.

Finally, I returned to Cebu and delivered my first lecture on Grammar. I felt like a huge load was lifted off my chest when the week was done. I could not believe how the Lord just gave me the strength to accomplish all the work that I had to do. I closed the week with a prayer meeting, this time with Lingkod Cebu. I praised and worshipped the God who saw me through many storms and who is true to His promises to me.

Perhaps, when I've fully rested, I could recount the many ways God provided for me.

Twenty Minutes Before Take-off...

From Jack's Ridge in Davao...

To Sabin Hotel in Ormoc...

To Cebu Midtown in, where else? Cebu...

And back in Manila! Well, in about 20 minutes we're taking off!

I Shall Return

Might not be able to post within the next couple of weeks. Have always been busy, but this time blogging seems to be next to impossible due to my tight schedule brought about by work, service, and family. Will also be traveling to three different cities. Giving my first lecture on a subject I've always loved but never mastered.

You are welcome to browse through my blog archives and to leave comments. Till then, ciao!

Ten Blessings

If God kept a record of my prayers, He probably would have a huge filing cabinet for my petitions and a single folder for my thank-you's. I just never thank Him enough. Everyday, I offer prayers for the variuos tasks at hand. I pray extra hard for relationship difficulties. I pray on my knees when I'm in pain. Even though I make an effort to listen to Him, discern what He's doing, and appreciate where He's moving, I still seldom pause to be grateful for all that He has given me.

I was trying to recall the many blessings of the past year and I was in awe at my backlog in thanksgiving.

Rejoice always,
pray without ceasing,
give thanks in all circumstances;
for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. (1 Thess 5:16-18, ESV)

I thank the Lord for:

1. My growing and loving family spread across the globe;


2. My love for music, nurtured in my family, that allows me to sing, dance, train choirs, and play the piano;


3. My job at CD Asia that allows me to explore my interests in writing, traveling, training, and speaking, while serving the legal profession, and within a Christian environment;


4. My friends since grade school (Secrets), high school (Phinx), college, UP Law A' 99, Gabay friends, Lingkod QC, Tiguls, Lingkod nationwide, Lingkod National Office, Parish of St. Benedict, Youth Alive, POSH;


5. My spiritual friends from MGL and the Cenacle;


6. My nephews and godchildren;


7. My service opportunities that bring me much joy and fulfillment, whether in the parish, Lingkod, Youth Alive, or other groups that invite me;


8. Material blessings that abound, from friends and family, even in times of joblessness, which have allowed me to travel, drive, text, call, blog, eat, sleep... obviously, I not only survived, but lived well even during the lean years, especially the past six months;


9. Work projects that have sustained me even if not on a fulltime basis; and


10. This particular year to rest, heal, and recharge.

I will try to make this a habit from now on.

33 guests 3 p.m. on the eve of d 30th

Endings and Beginnings

Whenever I go on retreat, I get a glimpse of how God looks at what are "urgent" and "important." My spiritual directress led me to read Isaiah 55 again. I pondered on the words,

[8] For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways, says the LORD.

I said to myself, How true! How absolutely true. I usually just think of my own little world and are thus concerned with my own little problems, including probably those in my immediate circle, but I have no idea about how answering my prayers would affect other people, and how God must consider other things more important and would like me to take those on instead of the trivial pursuits I always find myself in.

So there I was at the Cenacle Retreat House for my annual personal retreat, and I was at once captured by God's Word. I told Sr. Susay I was thirsting for God, and she said that was a grace given to me, and He would be there to welcome me and listen to me, no matter how mundane I might think my concerns were.

I went to the Upper Room, literally, for the new building had an additional prayer room at the 2nd floor. (Cenacle means the Upper Room where Jesus dined with His disciples, and where the latter, together with Mama Mary, experienced the power of the Holy Spirit during Pentecost.) I felt such love, waiting for me, and just for me, when I entered the room. I knew Jesus was indeed there to talk to me.

I told Him I was frightened, and when probed, I said it was because I might forget Him since I already had what I wanted. Strange creature that I was, with the answered prayer of a job that I liked, I was in danger of forgetting the Giver of the Gift. In fact, it was starting already - the busyness, the anxiety, the panic, and the stress.

If I forget you, O Jerusalem, let my right hand wither!
Let my tongue cleave to the roof of my mouth,
if I do not remember you, if I do not set Jerusalem above my highest joy! (Ps 137:5-6)

Then I felt His compassion and mercy towards my frightened soul, which refreshed me. It was almost as if Jesus was smiling at me. Later that evening, we walked the labyrinth together, me pouring out to Him all the things I was saying goodbye to during that retreat. I found it harder to have closure on people, though, so I asked Him if I could stay in the middle for a while, dealing with the people I loved and could not let go of. He, who was Time, let me be. When I was ready, I took the same path outside the labyrinth, and looked at all the openings before me, and listed down the essentials that I did not want to lose sight of despite new beginnings and different venues in my journey.

There I saw my feelings, what I was excited about, what I was afraid of, and what I was still attached to. I knew I was moving towards certain virtues that seemed so hard to attain before, but was not fully there yet. In all those, I asked, as my SD told me to ask, How do I want Jesus to be there for me?

In between the sunset and the sunrise of my life, I asked that Jesus protect me from letting go of my highest joy - Him, and seeing Him face to face one day, and being with Him and the Father and the Holy Spirit in heaven someday. With all the concerns of this world, my highest joy had to be deeply carved in my heart. I asked Jesus to let me be in the world, but not of the world.

I had to ask myself, too, where my new job was in God's plan for me. Clearly, it was a step, though the end may not be in sight, CD Asia was a good place to learn, and grow, and share. I listed down how I intended to live, and how I would show my fidelity to my God, in this new beginning He had gifted me with.

The next day, my SD invited me to revisit the twin chapters of 1 Corinthians 12 and 13, asking how I was being challenged to see God in the workplace. As I was coming full circle, from graduating with a business degree, dabbling in law school and the mysteries of becoming a lawyer, and then accepting a marketing-, training-, and events-related job in a company whose products cater to lawyers, I had to be grounded, otherwise I could stand to lose the benefits of 14 years of a committed, personal relationship with Christ.

I was also coming full circle in the Ortigas-Pasig area. I first worked there as a fresh grad from law school in 1999, left in tears in 2000 after finding out I had to re-take the bar, then came back in 2001 armed with an "A-T-T-Y", then left again in 2002 to serve God more as a court attorney. Old hangouts such as Shangri-la Plaza still stood tall, but new ones came along like Podium. Old friends had since moved to other jobs, but new friends lived and worked nearby. I could really be at home there. It was one of many possibilities I recognized before me.

As I personalized my call to love - myself, my God, and others - my SD encouraged me to be more real, and not be just "proper", "right", and "good" all the time. In order for me to adapt, grow, and change as God wanted me to, I first had to be honest with Him. So I laid down everything, not holding back, and trusted He could work it all out for the good.

All my idealism was intact, but I was being invited to channel it to a new "nation", where I would learn to love and be loved, and not just to serve and be served, as I somehow tend to look at my relationships.

Behold, you shall call nations that you know not,
and nations that knew you not shall run to you,
because of the LORD your God, and of the Holy One of Israel,
for he has glorified you. (Isaiah 55:5)

My retreat started on Sunday, when the Gospel reading was about Jesus staying at Martha's house, and pointing out how Mary chose "the better part". I closed my retreat on a Tuesday, a busy working day. In fact, I had to attend a work-related round table discussion a few hours after my retreat. I definitely needed that break, to sit at Jesus' feet at the Upper Room, so that I could go about my tasks with joy and purpose. It was easy to do so within the confines of the retreat house, where my only duties were to pray and to journal. The challenges were all waiting the minute I left the gates of that sanctuary.

All I can say, since I don't know what lies ahead, is that I am not yet in heaven; neither am I a saint, but somehow, there is hope, that I am moving towards that, at my own pace, within God's time.

A Prayer to Live Life More Fully

Obviously, today's featured writer is Joyce Rupp. Her poems helped me during my recently-concluded retreat. Words still escape me on how to describe what I've learned from there. Let me just share some helpful poem-prayers for those who are with me on this journey.

A Prayer to Live Life More Fully

We move so fast, God, and sometimes we see so little in our daily travels. Slow us down. Create in us a desire to pause. Help us to pursue moments of contemplation. Help us to see in a deeper way, to become more aware of what speaks to us of beauty and truth.

Our inner eye gets misty, clouded over, dulled. We need to see in a new way, to dust off our heart, to perceive what is truly of value and to find the deeper meaning in our lives.

All of our ordinary moments are means of entering into a more significant relationship with you, God. In the midst of those very common happenings, you are ready to speak your word of love to us, if only we will recognize your presence.

Teach us how to enjoy being. Encourage us to be present to the gifts that are ours. May we be more fully aware of what we see, taste, touch, hear, and smell. May this awareness of our senses sharpen our perception of our everyday treasures and lead us to greater joy and gratitude.

Grant us the courage to be our true selves. Help us to let go of being overly concerned about what others think of us or of how successful we are. May our inner freedom be strengthened and our delight in life be activated.

Life is meant to be celebrated, enjoyed, delighted in, and embraced in all its mystery. Guide us to our inner child. Draw us to your playground of creation, God of life, so that we will live more fully. AMEN.

Joyce Rupp, May I Have This Dance

Pictures and Words from My Retreat

A new road beckons
at my doorstep
a new stage in my life-journey . . .
Something in me
welcomes its promise:
the hope of bountiful blessings
of fresh perspectives
of old dreams . . .

Something in me
shrinks from it in timidity:
the swiftness of the passing years,
the challenge of what's ahead.

Something in me
fears the road ahead:
the unnamed events of future days,
the wisdom needed
to walk love well,
the demands of letting go,
of growing, and growing older . . .

The new road beckons.
With trembling hands
and faltering steps, I move
to open my heart's door to it.
My heart leaps with surprise,
for there, standing beside the road
God beckons with outstretched hand!

He smiles and gently asks me:
"Shall we walk this road together?"

-- (adapted from Joyce Rupp)


This poem was given to me at the closing of my annual personal retreat. It reminded me of the previous description of my blog, which I wrote a couple of years ago:


I rode the train and thought I knew the destination. I was wrong. I got off at a station and realized I had overpacked my bags but left the essential things for my journey. I stood at the platform, lost and forced to wait. I thought that maybe that wasn't my real platform and my train was invisible to the naked eye. Then I saw a Man wearing a white seamless garment, walking towards me. He had kind, brown eyes that hid how long He had been waiting for me. I was Home.


The pictures of the mini-waterfalls at the Cenacle Retreat House were taken using my cellphone camera.

A Prayer in Times of Transition

A Prayer in Times of Transition

Guide of Weary Travelers, take my hand as I wander
Through the unnamed wilderness in search of my true Home.

Companion of Those Who Journey, assure me of your presence
While I search aimlessly in the foggy land of “don’t know.”

Source of Wisdom and Guidance, be the Star that leads me,
Shine truth onto my path and bless me with direction.

Wings of Shelter, embrace me with your comfort
When the road is lonely and life feels desolate.

Wellspring of Hope, be my source of courage,
My fountain of faith when I teeter toward despair.

Wind of Spiritual Liberation, enter and unleash any shackles
That bind and restrict me on the path of true freedom.

Heart of Compassion, taste my tears,
Heal my old wounds; rest my pain in your love.

Bounteous Power, dance in my bones,
Sing in my spirit, energize me toward action.

Endless Joy, infuse my wilting spirit
With radiant vitality and the sweet savoring of life.

-- Joyce Rupp, Out of the Ordinary

Reverse Awakening

If I were asked which part of the US I would like to go back to for a visit, Las Vegas would be at the bottom of my list. It was enough for me to see the lights the first time I was there, but it had no lasting attraction for me. There were lots of other places, however, like San Francisco, Sydney, and Bohol, that I would make any excuse just to see again. My own biases were obviously limiting me from seeing the diamond in the rough that is LV.

Just because it is known for gambling and instant weddings, among others, should not mean the place does not offer anything good. Surely, I should stop being judgmental and learn to loosen up a little. Things are not always what they seem. I'm looking forward to spending time with my best friends from high school who live near the hotel where I would be staying, and with my law school blockmate who would attend the seminar. Yes, I'm going to have a grand time in "sin city."

Today I realized that just because a building is occupied by rich people does not mean its chapel is not filled with faithful believers. I'm undergoing a reverse awakening. I didn't realize I had put people in neat little files in my head - those in outright mission work took higher precedence over those who were successful in the corporate world. But who's to say that one glorifies and serves God more than the other? Does not the church need sponsors in order to implement its projects? Don't missionaries live on donations from generous people? What comes to mind is the passage from Corinthians that says we are one body, with many parts, with Christ as the head of the church.

My heart is slowly finding peace (it has not arrived fully yet) in the assurance that God is with me even if I don't serve Him in a church/ mission/ charity setting. I love Him so much, I don't want to be consumed by anything - not good works, not noble deeds, not amazing feats - that would separate me from His presence. Thus, I was afraid of pursuing my dreams too much. Ironically, it is the religious people around me who are setting me free and assuring me that God wants that for me, for He planted those desires in my heart.

Just because I am back in the corporate labyrinth does not mean that I'm not doing God's work. The bigger reality is that there is a greater hunger for laborers out there. Inside the church building and its surrounding lay organizations, the bench is already deep.

This might make better sense after I go on retreat this weekend. I have so much to share, for He has done many wondrous things before my eyes, but haven't found the right words yet. I need space and silence for that.

To be continued...