Sign of the Covenant

¹² And God said, "This is the sign of the covenant I am making between me and you and every living creature with you, a covenant for all generations to come: ¹³ I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth. ¹⁴ Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds, ¹⁵ I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life. ¹⁶ Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth."

¹⁷ So God said to Noah, "This is the sign of the covenant I have established between me and all life on the earth." (Gen 9:12-17, NIV)

Repost: Impt Contacts to Help Typhoon Ondoy Victims

From http://kikay.exchange.ph/2009/09/27/important-contacts-to-help-typhoon-ondoy-victims:


ORDER FROM THE GOVERNMENT: MALL PARKING LOTS ARE ALSO OPEN TO ACCOMMODATE STRANDED VEHICLES FOR FREE

UPDATED LISTING OF HOTLINES (Feel Free to use the comments to add more) : Typhoon Ondoy Emergency Hotlines and Relief Operations

Rescue Operations

1. National Disaster Coordinating Council (NDCC) (+632-9125668, +632-9111406, +632-9115061, +632-9122665) Help hotlines: (+65 734-2118, 734-2120)
2. Red Cross (143, +632-5270000)
3. MMDA (136)
4. Coast Guard (+632-5276136)
5. AIR FORCE (+63908-1126976, +632-8535023)
6. Senator Dick Gordon (+639178997898, +63938-444BOYS, +632-9342118, +632-4338528)
7. Senator Manny Villar (+639174226800. +639172414864, +639276751981)
8. Bureau of Fire Protection Region III (Central Luzon) Hotline: (+63245-9634376)
9. Go to GMA Facebook page & post complete addresses and names of people in need of immediate help.

Rubber Boat Requests, 4×4 Trucks

1. NCRPO (+632-8383203, +632-8383354)
2. Private citizens who would like to lend their motor boats for rescue
please call emergency nos: +632-9125668, +632-9111406, +632-9122665, +632-9115061)
3. You can also text (+632917-4226800 or +632927-6751981) for rescue dump trucks.
4. For those who are able to lend 4×4 trucks for rescue: Please send truck to Greenhills Shoppng Center Unimart Grocery to await deployment, Tel No. (+632920-9072902) .

Power Supply

Meralco (+63917-5592824) If you want service cut off to your area to prevent fires and electrocution.

Relief Aid and Donations

1. Victory Fort is opening its doors to those affected by the typhoon. Call 813-FORT.
2. Clare Amador (+639285205508) or Jana Vicente at +639285205499) . Drop off for relief donations is at Balay Expo Center across Farmers Market Cubao.
3. Miriam Quiambao drop off points: One Orchard Road Building in Eastwood, or messagehttp://www.twitter. com/miriamq for more details.
4. Donations for Ondoy Victims to be distributed at the Philippine Army Gym inside Fort Bonifacio or GHQ Gym in Camp Aguinaldo starting now.
5. Team Manila stores in Trinoma, Mall of Asia, Jupiter Bel-Air and Rockwell shall be accepting relief goods (Canned Goods, Ready-to-drink Milk,Bottled Water and Clothes) for distribution by Veritas.
6. Relief Goods: Caritas Manila Office at Jesus St., Pandacan Manila near Nagtahan Bridge (+632-5639298, +632-5639308) or Radio Veritas at Veritas Tower West Ave. Cor EDSA (+632-9257931- 40)
7. Donations of any kind for Payatas communities affected by Ondoy accepted at ARANAZ stores in Rockwell & Greenbelt.
8. Simbahang Lingkod ng Bayan Task Force Noah, a disaster response arm of the Jesuits, is accepting donations. Please drop it off sa Ateneo Cervini Dorm.
9. Red Cross Load Donations: Right now the easiest way to make donations from the seat of your chair is via mobile phone load. The Red Cross Rescue and Relief Operations. Text: REDAMOUNT to 2899 (Globe) or 4483 (Smart)
10. Ateneo is now accepting donations for the victims of Ondoy. Donations can be dropped at MVP Lobby. For those stranded/those who need help: To all students who need help or know of people who need help. Please text the name, location, and contact number to (+6329088877166).
11. Papemelroti stores at 91 Roces Ave. / Ali Mall Cubao / SM City North EDSA / SM Fairview / SM Megamall / Glorietta 3 in Makati / SM Centerpoint / SM Southmall are accepting relief goods (canned goods / milk / bottled water / clothes – NO CASH pls.)
12. TXTPower now accepts donations via SmartMoney 5577514418667103, GCash 09179751092 and Paypal http://is.gd/ 3GvuN

Media Outfits

* ABS-CBN Typhoon Ondoy Hotline: (+632-4163641)
* Jam 88.3: (+632- 6318803) or SMS at JAM (space) 883 (space) ur msg to 2968

People Tracker (using your phones, get your friends and family to turn on their finderservice for you)

* FINDERSERVICE. For Smart, text “wis ” to 386.
* FINDERSERVICE. For Globe, text “find to 7000.

For the Confusions Around Are Mere Reflections of...

I do not know if it is because of my profession that I attract conflict, but I have noticed recently that everywhere I go, there is conflict, and more often than not, the issues are complicated and even heavy. I almost envy the people whose standard reply to the question of "How are you?" is "I'm bored, thank you."

Boredom is an unfamiliar feeling to me, as my days are more characterized by stress, sometimes panic, and at worst, fear. This, coming from a Christian. Which brings me to the question that got me started writing this particular blog entry. I wanted to ask God something, "Why, Lord, can't I experience peace for a prolonged period of time? Like maybe a week?"

Is it a matter of perspective, as in I choose to look at the problems of life rather than focus on the calm surface? Is it a matter of personality; do I aggravate the situations around me so much so that I bring out conflict wherever I go? Is it a matter of profession, in that because I'm a lawyer, people tend to spill their innermost problems to me even though we hardly know each other? Is it a matter of perception; do I just have the knack for looking at things beyond what is visible?

I would like to know, because I need a break. I want to work and not be judged for every little thing I do that do not always have anything to do with my job description. I want to serve and not be the subject of negative talk. I want to be free from these distractions.

The world may be full of conflict, really, but just once I want to be shielded from the chaos. I have just found some inner peace and quiet. Then bang. I received disturbing news, and I cannot sleep again, and I cannot focus again. I am trying, by blogging, to rid myself of these thoughts. I tell myself that it's not a big deal, what I learned today; that it's not really my problem; and that it will solve by itself without me having to lose sleep and change my routine over it.

I treasure my friends a lot, and I put my trust in people 100%. I work hard, and I am aware of my flaws. Still, at the end of the day, it is not reputation that matters, but my conscience. If my conscience is clear, and people still choose to talk, I can only close my eyes, and go to that quiet place where only God can hear me, and ask Him to protect me from reacting negatively, or worse, from giving in, and becoming the person some people paint me to be.

For obvious reasons I cannot write in detail what I'm going through here. There are multiple things, actually, and I have tried to make sense of them all, quite unsuccessfully so far. It is all an invitation to prayer, as my Cenacle spiritual directress would say.

This too shall pass.

Great Books and Teachers

I try to attend the Catholic Formation series in our parish as much as I can. It is adult catechism at its finest, and in-depth bible study given by our parish priest that always leaves me wanting to learn more about our faith. My classmates are mostly nuns from the four congregations who reside in our neighborhood, and a growing number of lay people. Make that lay women. But still.

I received the handouts and saw the series topic: The Moral Life. Pretty. Heavy. Stuff. Tonight's topic was a concise version of St. Thomas Aquinas' writings on the Seven Basic Human Goods. My background in civil law helped, but only slightly. For I have a confession to make: I have, to this day, refused to read the great philosophers' and thinkers' original works. I have mostly survived on hearsay, actually, for I have been more comfortable reading other writers' interpretations of what the great ones have written. For a lawyer who "always reads the cases in the original", I should be ashamed of myself.

My father has tried to influence me, for he is a product of UST education. He has all the books. I have just picked out the lighter ones from his vast library, and those were mostly fiction. Even my choices in fiction have been influenced by one major standard: entertainment value.

And so I have only read the "Primer for the Catechism of the Catholic Church", but not the real thing. I have read several books about saints, but not their actual writings, except for St. Therese of Liseux. I have read that Social Science II reference book, the title of which escapes me now, the one that comes in two volumes, but not the individual books that comprise it. I am lazy, I know.

Age has caught up on me, and I no longer can afford to wing it. My Bucket List of Books has to be dusted and reviewed.

In many things, I have felt what growing older means. I'm not necessarily wiser, but I now try harder. Reminds me of this passage that was taken from the only "serious" book that I read everyday, the holy bible:

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. (1 Corinthians 13: 11-13, NIV)

I do hope to put childish ways behind me, to reason like a woman, to someday "see face to face", to know fully, and to be fully known.

I also need to be more consistent in applying what I read and study to reality. Starting with the lesson for this month, "The Moral Life". I'm glad that my classmates, who are religious, agree with me that it's a tough subject. I thought I was the only one who felt like her nose was bleeding while trying to grasp the subject matter. The nuns smiled at me, and their smile told me that they were one with me in my desire to learn more and my struggle to do so.

How do I make a moral decision? I asked a priest when I was faced with the greatest moral dilemma of my life. He simply said, "Take away your emotions, and then make a moral decision. You can't let your desires rule your life."

I asked the same priest tonight if he was referring to Aquinas' teachings when he gave me that piece of advice. He nodded. I said I still found it difficult. He said, "I never said it was easy."

I cannot take shortcuts anymore. In reading. In life. In decision-making. Time to face the big ones. The great big ones.

Faith, hope and love.

Silence and Solitude

There is nothing like trials to make us go down on our knees in prayer.

I have been unable to update this blog regularly because I am going through a phase of privacy, of wanting to process things and mull over them, and choosing not to reveal everything that's going on inside me. This is a departure from my usual self who started writing in this space with all her heart, mind, soul, and strength.

Perhaps I have more questions than lessons right now. I was told to stop wishing and to be firmer in my decisions. I'm doing that. But so far I have been unsuccessful.

Perhaps God, as I have come to know him in my 20s, has revealed more of Himself to me now, and I am seeking a deeper relationship with Him. In my search, I have become silent, as I wait for the new knowledge to set in.

I am beginning many things and I do not have a regular weekday mass schedule yet. Once I settle in to my new workplace, perhaps I'll write again. But then it will be time to start becoming a teacher. And the adjustment will begin again.

I am in need of a short respite from the hustle and bustle of the city. I wish I could go on retreat again - silent, individual retreat. I want to be in a serene place by myself with just my Bible, journal, books, and pens.

There is so much going on, but I do not have words to describe them. Not now. Perhaps not ever.

The Unopened Gift

After years of begging him to paint something just so his God-given talent would not be put to waste, my friend surprised me with a gift the week before he left the country for good. I looked at it and thought I heard him say that it was a photo taken of an actual painting, the only painting he made for six years.

I was honored to receive that gift and put it on a special place inside my room, to remind me of the gift of friendship, art, and life. When I asked him what his work was called, he said he had not really thought about it. He paused for a while and then decided to call it "A New Life".

I saw what he meant by the title. The painting was made up of several shapes and sizes, in different textures and colors that seemed to convey different aspects of life, or different periods in one's lifetime. I prayed with that painting for several days, reflecting on the new life that God alone could give, and all the wonderful surprises hidden inside each piece of the painting led me to hope for more blessings in my own life.

Less than a year after receiving that gift, a couple of our common friends asked to see that "photo-of-a-painting", after hearing about it so much from me. They asked if they could open the back of the frame to inspect it, as they were quite sure that it was not just a photo, while I insisted that it was. Lo and behold, the girls discovered something I had taken for granted for several months - it was a real painting, and not just a photograph of one. Where I got the idea that it was not real, I will never know.

I was stunned to learn what a treasure I had in my hands, an artist's original especially made for me. True, I appreciated it, but I was not aware of its real worth and value, and missed out on that extra joy for quite some time.

I am quite often like that with God's gifts as well. Consumed by my own ideas of how He blesses me, I fail to recognize the true worth of His gifts, and become content only in mere shadows and scraps of the genuine article. More precious than diamonds, more costly than gold, is the Lord to me, and yet sometimes my idea of Him gets dulled, and I miss out on His presence in my life.

I do not think I am alone in this, for a lot of people are like me, rushing through life without pausing to ponder on God, His ways, His works, and His wonders. I hope that after this lesson, I will experience life in a new way - to recognize love and its gifts, God and His blessings - the minute I receive them, and to be grateful, and to respond accordingly.

Alive at 35!

My soul yearns and pines for the courts of the LORD. My heart and my flesh cry out for the living God. (Ps 84:3)

I pray this prayer today, to have that longing and yearning come alive in me again.

I have been running and hiding from the Lord recently. Some of you may know that this normally happens to me and that I eventually find my way back, sometimes even on my knees. This has been a little extended chapter of hiding but I'm hopeful that I will recover. Ironic that this has happened at a time when He is showering me with blessings: my career is taking surprising turns, I have a proven set of lifelong friends, and my relationship with my family is as strong as ever.

With God, I am again a petulant child sulking because my plans did not push through and I did not get what I wanted, when I wanted it. I focus on that, rather than the roomful of toys (blessings) that He has given me. I'm getting tired of this sulking, at last.

Some people are born privileged and grow up getting their way in everything, and later on in life realize that they have to give more of themselves, back to God, through His people. My journey is a little more complicated, for I had a conversion experience in my teens, and in my twenties, attempted to be the paragon of service and selflessness. Until I found myself in pieces, tired, and badly in need of rest. So I did rest.

Then it became more difficult to pray, to listen, to wait. The shadow of my former self threatened to negate all my years of renewal. It happens to everyone. It happened to me. So I hope that in time, I will find that balance between faith and good works. And that I will talk and listen to God again, like I used to, for He has not changed, but I have. May I learn to accept that He loves me despite who I have become.

This lesson of accepting God's love reaches new levels every time I encounter it. Love is indeed the greatest of these, and the most powerful. I pray that love enters not just my mind, but my heart as well.

Productive Rest

Coming from a lifetime of being too hard on myself, one of my latest struggles is about being productive.

Like every obsessive-compulsive control freak, I have come to measure my days by accomplishments. I am seldom at peace unless my task list gets updated with a few checks everyday. I am distressed, guilty, and unhappy in between days of accomplishment, whether at work, and apparently, even at rest.

I am on a couple of week's break before I re-assume the detail-oriented position of being court attorney. Therefore, I should be, literally, taking a break.

So I visited my brother and sister-in-law in Singapore, my first international trip in almost two years, and immersed myself in window-shopping, mall-hopping, and cuisine-tasting.

But then I got back home and faced my cluttered room. Waiting for me were my suits for dry cleaning, books for reading, stuff for writing (two for Lingkod), lessons for finalizing, and other piles waiting to be discovered.

My state of mind is reflected in this mess. I have this habit of stashing things- and thoughts - until I'm ready to sort them out and file them properly, either in the keep, recycle, repair, or giveaway bins.

Rest has scriptural basis, my friends remind me. I should not be guilty for not being productive - whatever that means. If my body needs to rest, my mind needs to process, and my heart needs to ponder, then I should listen and respond, rather than resist, and push myself to do things that I do not exactly want, or need, to do. Like going out.

I have responsibilities and my prayer is that I can fulfill them in the order of urgency. Otherwise, I will try not to be guilty for slowing down, taking time for myself, and not publishing a paper, writing a book, or composing a song (as if I were in the habit of doing those things, but just to illustrate).

Sometime soon too, I hope to reconnect to my God. To ask Him my questions. To sit with Him, even if I don't understand His answers. To surrender to Him my worries. To express my gratitude. To listen. I have not done that, or enough of that, in a long time. I know I should do that first. I may have forgotten how, in my busyness with all things of far less importance.

I wish that God would come to me, and speak to me, and embrace me now. Perhaps that is the motivation that I need to make sense of the chaos that I have surrounded myself with. Yes, His Word, His assurance, His presence, that is all the rest that I'll ever need.

It's Pouring Out Here

Many of us complain that "when it rains, it really pours".  We say this idiom complete with a sigh and a shrug.  

Lately, however, I have seen the blessing of having too many things to think of (read: worry about).  It has taught me to let go and let God.

I was out last night with some friends after our prayer meeting was canceled due to heavy rains.  I felt bad when I arrived after two hours of traffic to find an empty, dark church.  Where was everybody?  Not only were cars and people delayed for the prayer meeting, text messages also arrived late.  

It was my last day at work and one thing that had kept me going was the thought that I was attending a prayer meeting afterwards.  My officemates had invited me to a drinking session but I declined.  I wanted to be spiritually nourished.  I felt exhausted, as if I had swam a great ocean and I was on the last few laps.  

I was supposed to pray, sing, listen, and share, and let my hair down in the process.  But there was no opportunity for that.  A friend of mine also texted that she was stranded outside our village due to the pouring rain.  I went to get her, and then we finally caught up to where the others were.  They had already finished dinner.

I told them, "Next time that I am in transition, please don't cancel a prayer meeting."  I could see their logic. They apologized.  I had forgiven them, but still  I was not my usual self.  I was spaced out.

Fr. B asked how he could help me and what he should pray for.  I shared with him that I was going through several major things all at the same time, and thus I  had not focused on any one concern.  Perhaps one pain was shielding me from the full impact of another.  Perhaps they were sent at the same time to cushion the blow.  I was forced to take it one day at a time and to deal with my challenges in the order of urgency.  As a result, I did not dwell too much on the goodbyes and the pains and the hurts.

"Wake me up when September ends", the song goes.  This had become literal for me again.  I imagine a September when I would have less worries.  And a December 2010 when I would be reunited with my whole family again and we would celebrate many occasions.

For now I get by through knowing that nothing is within my control, and I just have to go through this.  It was my last day at work yesterday.  For the next few days maybe I can deal with everything else aside from work.  And that means I have a whole truckload of things to think about.  And pray about.

Lea Salonga's Something More MV