All the Bread We Need

Mark 8:14-21

14 The disciples had forgotten to bring bread, and they had only one loaf with them in the boat. 15 Jesus enjoined them, “Watch out, guard against the leaven of the Pharisees and the leaven of Herod.”16 They concluded among themselves that it was because they had no bread.17 When he became aware of this he said to them, “Why do you conclude that it is because you have no bread? Do you not yet understand or comprehend? Are your hearts hardened? 18 Do you have eyes and not see, ears and not hear? And do you not remember, 19 when I broke the five loaves for the five thousand, how many wicker baskets full of fragments you picked up?” They answered him, “Twelve.” 20 “When I broke the seven loaves for the four thousand, how many full baskets of fragments did you pick up?” They answered him, “Seven.” 21 He said to them, “Do you still not understand?”

As I played this scene in my head this morning, I was grateful that Jesus was not just a teacher, but the most patient teacher there ever was. How frustrating it must have been, after demonstrating how five loaves could feed five thousand, or the seven loaves could feed four thousand, that his disciples, the very men who had been walking with him and listening to his teachings firsthand, could still miss the point of his lessons. How he must have shaken his head, that after talking about greater things, his men could still be hung up on the basic needs that he had proven to be already covered through faith and action.

Bread basket at the Green Dragon Inn, New Zealand

In the past, I taught law students about legal writing and research, and much as I loved to pass on my tips and techniques, I got easily frustrated when, even after several exercises and projects, my students still committed the same mistakes during the final exams.

They concluded among themselves that it was because they had no bread. I imagined this scene and almost laughed out loud, thinking of the disciples, looking at each other, whispering, with puzzled expressions, trying to make sense of what their teacher was saying. In that scene, I could not fathom the depth of Jesus's patience, but could easily relate to the disciples' stubborn confusion.

I felt the Lord lovingly asking me, in my life, if I could remember how He had provided for me, and how there was always more than what I ever needed.

 Ella, do you have eyes and not see, ears and not hear? And do you not remember? Do you still not understand?

I smiled as I recalled the "wicker baskets of fragments" that I was able to pick up after each answered prayer; the abundance, the generosity, the magnitude that always accompanied an event or milestone in my life, by the grace of God, especially the past year.

As I, voluntarily, face another impossible turning point in life, and Jesus speaks to me, I hope to hear what He is really saying, and not conclude to myself that it was because I forgot to bring bread in this castaway boat. May my heart and attitude be changed, and my feelings be lifted. May I see that I already have Jesus, my savior, and nothing should be impossible for me. Like the disciples and my law students, this lesson has to be repeated until learned.

For a bible study on leaven, I read this very helpful article.  

Reflections After Typhoon Haiyan (Yolanda)

Christ has no body but yours,
No hands, no feet on earth but yours,
Yours are the eyes with which he looks
Compassion on this world,
Yours are the feet with which he walks to do good,
Yours are the hands, with which he blesses all the world.
Yours are the hands, yours are the feet, Yours are the eyes, you are his body.
Christ has no body now but yours,
No hands, no feet on earth but yours,
Yours are the eyes with which he looks compassion on this world.
Christ has no body now on earth but yours. - Teresa of Avila (1515–1582) 

Not many Filipinos are getting proper sleep these days, wherever they are in the world, after super typhoon Haiyan (local name: Yolanda)  flattened entire cities and towns, claimed lives, and destroyed property in unprecedented levels. Most are doing everything to actually help the victims. The rest of us who are abroad are bothered and depressed.

The Philippines is used to typhoons. Filipinos are, as a result, no stranger to weathering storms and rebuilding lives. But this is the worst disaster to have hit us, which resulted to what eyewitnesses have described as apocalyptic scenes. Almost every Filipino is either anxious to hear from his/her relatives who are cut off from all communication lines in the islands, or know someone who is in that difficult state.

Since I was not there physically, and I had been glued to Twitter/Facebook/CNN almost 24/7 to catch every bit of useful information I could find and pass on, I was left with two choices: tear my hair in frustration, or Do Something. But what could I do? I was too far away and in another time zone at that, to pack relief goods or to help clean up debris. I could not fly a plane, or simply fly, no matter how much I wanted to. But I could pray.

I realized what I should be doing more of: interceding in prayer, instead of being an armchair critic of the government. I could pray for the media personalities, that their reporting may be helpful; for the government officials, that they be up to the challenge on their shoulders; and for the international community, that they find where their help is needed most.

I went to mass last Sunday and the parish priest in that Sydney suburb talked about the Gospel in ways that soothed me even as thousands of innocent people had just died in central Philippines.



I sat there in church, helpless, questioning God, and He answered me by showing me the eternal perspective, and that reminding me that earth is not the final destination of the typhoon victims. They have a Heaven to come home to, where their sufferings shall come to an end. And Jesus is waiting for them there.

As the outpouring of help flooded from all over the world, I saw on social media how Filipinos did what they did best. They volunteered their time and resources for the relief operations, with the bayanihan spirit. Still, the search and rescue operations were hampered by another tropical depression and the sheer difficulty of moving through a virtual wasteland.

I stared at photographs of my dead countrymen and cried silent tears of helplessness. Yes we have poor people, weak infrastructure, and a corrupt system. But it is my hope that the desolation brought by typhoon Haiyan will give birth to a new Philippines.

When I opened my Bible readings for 12 November, the words went straight into my heart. I had been praying for those who perished and those who were still suffering as aid was slow in coming. After reading these words, I knew that our God is with them.

But the souls of the just are in the hand of God, and no torment shall touch them. They seemed, in the view of the foolish, to be dead; and their passing away was thought an affliction and their going forth from us, utter destruction. But they are in peace.

When the just cry out, the Lord hears them, and from all their distress he rescues them. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; and those who are crushed in spirit he saves.

First Reading and Psalm for 12 November 2013:

Wisdom 2:23-3:9

23 God formed man to be imperishable; the image of his own nature he made him. 24 But by the envy of the devil, death entered the world, and they who are in his possession experience it. 3: 1 But the souls of the just are in the hand of God, and no torment shall touch them. 2 They seemed, in the view of the foolish, to be dead; and their passing away was thought an affliction 3 and their going forth from us, utter destruction. But they are in peace. 4 For if before men, indeed, they be punished, yet is their hope full of immortality; 5 chastised a little, they shall be greatly blessed, because God tried them and found them worthy of himself. 6 As gold in the furnace, he proved them, and as sacrificial offerings he took them to himself. 7 In the time of their visitation they shall shine, and shall dart about as sparks through stubble; 8 they shall judge nations and rule over peoples, and the Lord shall be their King forever. 9 Those who trust in him shall understand truth, and the faithful shall abide with him in love: Because grace and mercy are with his holy ones, and his care is with the elect.

Psalm 34:2-3, 16-17, 18-19
R: I will bless the Lord at all times. 

I will bless the Lord at all times; his praise shall be ever in my mouth. Let my soul glory in the Lord; the lowly will hear me and be glad. (R)

The Lord has eyes for the just, and ears for their cry. The Lord confronts the evildoers, to destroy remembrance of them from the earth. (R)

When the just cry out, the Lord hears them, and from all their distress he rescues them. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; and those who are crushed in spirit he saves. (R) 

Before going to bed last night, I worried about the people who were still going without food and water after five days. And I remembered when our Lord Jesus fed the multitudes. He asked first the disciples what they had. I reflected on this, and saw that Jesus was asking us, what can we offer, and after we lift our offerings to Him, He can see to it that there is more than enough supply for every need. What is impossible becomes possible. Still, we need a system to distribute the food properly.

Corinne May wrote a beautiful song, Five Loaves and Two Fishes, and I wrote about it here. It is what I pray,

Take my five loaves and two fishes  

Do with it as you will

I surrender

Take my fears and my inhibitions

All my burdens, my ambitions

You can use it all to feed them all

I often think about that boy when I'm feeling small

And I worry that the work I do means nothing at all

But every single tear I cry is a diamond in His hands

And every door that slams in my face, I will offer up in prayer

So I'll give you every breath that I have

Oh Lord, you can work miracles

All that you need is my "Amen."