Friday, July 21, 2006

Companions for The Journey

Some people know me so well that with one look, they can tell whether I’m bored, famished, excited, or piqued.  I like to be with those kinds of people when I’m going through mood swings and I don’t want to have to explain why.  These people who I’d like to call friends just get me.  Maybe, as Sallie Fields puts it, they love me; they really love me.  

There are times when I don’t want to be with people to whom I have to spell out things.  I like my closest friends to read my thoughts, finish my sentences, and determine my moods.  I can very well do the same for them, so I guess I’m thrilled when they exhibit the same powers, er, courtesies, no I’m looking for a better word… inclinations.  My ex said, however, that he wasn’t a mind-reader and couldn’t tell when my silence meant I was mad.  That’s why it could never work between us, I thought then.

One thing I discovered, though, was that intuition was more present, or maybe at least entertained, in the female brain.  Men sometimes simply refuse to read between the lines or interpret body language.  They want things to be said in plain words, something that my female pride could never succumb to.  Worse, I’m a Filipina and accustomed to indirect communication, also called  di-tuwirang pamamahayag.  I’m sure my notes from Psych 101 could explain this better.

As I grow older, this search for familiarity and intimacy in relationships continues and those who effortlessly match my personality form my inner circle.  They reflect God’s love to me, Him who knows me inside and out – every wish, every desire, every weakness, every strength.  When somebody reaches out to me and responds to a prayer I’ve only whispered to God, I know He heard me.  I know He loves me.  It helps when it’s the people I love the most who are attuned to the Spirit and who allow themselves to be used as instruments of His presence.

I like to meet all sorts of people, from different backgrounds, and I love serving them or just relating to them.  But when it comes to rainy days, when I have to make decisions, when I doubt my choices and grow impatient for results, the people who know me best are the ones I seek.  Their strong, comforting presence just assures me that the storm will pass and the sun will rise again tomorrow.

Discernment is a never-ending process and I’m finding out the hard way.  I hope it leads to heaven.  One of those somebodies said that surely, the things I’m praying about now should lead me to heaven, for that is the path that I seek.  For…

One thing I ask of the LORD; this I seek: To dwell in the LORD'S house all the days of my life, To gaze on the LORD'S beauty, to visit his temple.”  (Ps 27:4, NAB)

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