As a young Christian, I somehow subconsciously believed that I was meant to underachieve, that it was my way of taking the focus away from myself and glorifying God. Hence, I failed to see myself as God created me. I saw as in a mirror: not clearly.
I was happy in my self-imposed ride with false humility. I genuinely believed that I was serving my fellowmen better by ignoring my personal issues, pushing them down until they could not be visible to the naked, unknowing eyes of the people around me.
It had been a long and arduous journey but here I am, more self-aware and also, more cognizant of the vast opportunities waiting for me, and more convinced that God wanted fullness of life for me.
I had leaders and mentors in my Christian walk who varied in their approach. I did not blame them for they tried to teach me well. It was my personal response that was blinded. I saw only what I could see at that time, for my eyes had scales then.
I have become joyful again because I have discovered that it is possible to be healed, and that forgotten dreams are kept in storage in my Lord's heart, so that at the right time, He would show me how to realize them.
My cup overflows. Hurts from ages past have made me stronger.
God wants me to be happy. What a strange concept that has been to me. I walk on with freedom and hope.
At the right time, I will blog about this in greater detail. Things are falling into place but are not yet final.
How about you, dear reader? Have you experienced brushing aside your issues and dreams as "costs of discipleship?"