What I'm learning is that we can't have everything. We can have some good things, but not have the other things. And as my niece would say, "That's okay."
The thing I also want to learn, and hope to become, is how to be consistently cheerful and grateful in all circumstances. To remember that the God I know is not bound by any human limitations - that even if January did not start out well for me, that does not mean God cannot turn things around and make February to December rosy.
It's a matter of perspective, and I don't want to be consumed by the rejections and uncertainties that seemed to start my new year.
God is not bound by years, and I put my faith in that. I try to live each day and find what I am called to do, and to respond to it. Times like these, I am most able to surrender to Him the things I cannot handle.
I sometimes ask for a miracle, but I need it more often than I ask for it. This year, I need a miracle a day.
Heavenly father, I entrust these worries and difficulties to you. I know I am not meant to carry them alone. Please show me the way. You alone are the one who knows what I am going through.
This is a Philippians 4 moment.
4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. 5 Let all men know your forbearance. The Lord is at hand. 6 Have no anxiety about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will keep your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
8 Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. 9 What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, do; and the God of peace will be with you. 10 I rejoice in the Lord greatly that now at length you have revived your concern for me; you were indeed concerned for me, but you had no opportunity. 11 Not that I complain of want; for I have learned, in whatever state I am, to be content. 12 I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound; in any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and want. 13 I can do all things in him who strengthens me. 14 Yet it was kind of you to share my trouble.