A Renewal of My Baptism

Today is the Feast of the Baptism of the Lord.

During the homily, the priest said that being one with Jesus in baptism, God is speaking to each and every one of us as well with these words, heard from a voice in heaven:

‘This is my Son, the Beloved; my favour rests on him.’

I tried to listen to that, to God speaking to me. "This is my daughter, Ella; my favour rests on her."

I could picture God being proud of Jesus, He who has fulfilled this prophecy, from the first reading today:

Isaiah 42:1-4,6-7 ©
Thus says the Lord:
Here is my servant whom I uphold,
my chosen one in whom my soul delights.
I have endowed him with my spirit
that he may bring true justice to the nations.
He does not cry out or shout aloud,
or make his voice heard in the streets.
He does not break the crushed reed,
nor quench the wavering flame.
Faithfully he brings true justice;
he will neither waver, nor be crushed
until true justice is established on earth,
for the islands are awaiting his law.
I, the Lord, have called you to serve the cause of right;
I have taken you by the hand and formed you;
I have appointed you as covenant of the people and light of the nations,
to open the eyes of the blind,
to free captives from prison,
and those who live in darkness from the dungeon.

But of Ella? It was not easy picturing that one. I felt undeserving of such favour. I felt unworthy of such honor. The priest was certain, however, that God included me in that blessing.

I looked in my heart and my definition of worthiness, and put it down. For I knew I would never be worthy, and I only struggled to become someone I could not be. With His grace, I could accomplish what He wanted me to do next. I could still serve Him and be part of a ministry that is pleasing to Him again.

Since I had nothing, I was very open to God's leading. During offertory, I lifted up to God all of me again. And I received Him in communion, in my undeserving heart, and believed that He only had to say the word and my soul, my very tired and sometimes confused soul, would be healed.

Great Ocean Road, Victoria, Australia