I have been going regularly to an orthodontist for almost three years now. Last year, I felt severe pain coming from one of my right upper molars and I went and consulted another dentist, one who was authorized by Sandiganbayan’s health card. She discovered a gaping hole in my tooth and put three permanent and two temporary fillings’ worth. At least that's what she charged to my health card. She said I should observe if the pain would come back and then I might have to undergo root canal.
Root canal. The name itself sent shockwaves to my brain. Thankfully my tooth behaved afterwards and I forgot about it. I didn’t even mention it to my orthodontist, who to my mind was in-charge of a completely different set of teeth, and should concentrate on the braces on my lower teeth that I wanted to get rid off soon.
A couple of weeks ago The Pain returned with a vengeance. I couldn’t eat ice cream or drink iced tea without getting “electrocuted”. I tried to track down my orthodontist but he was on vacation in faraway Marinduque where he engaged in his other passion, farming. I have surrounded myself with people busier than me (my spiritual directress is a concert singer on the side, so it’s also a challenge to set up appointments with her; my CEFAM counselor is also in-demand, elusive and busy; my travel agent has a full-time job aside from her business… I could go on and on), so I tried to wait patiently for my dentist to come back.
The day he reported to his clinic here at Don Antonio I came knocking at his door. One look at the source of My Pain and he immediately injected me with anesthesia and proceeded with the root canal thing (RCT, as he wrote down on my card). He gave me 50% discount on the procedure. I wish the pain was lessened by 50% too.
I asked him how come I discovered the decay in the tooth too late. He said that was the tendency for dentists like him who were so preoccupied with braces that they overlooked tiny signs of decay. If we had been in the States, that would be called an admission of negligence and would then be obvious basis for a winning lawsuit. I pushed those thoughts at the back of my mind and just said we should be more careful next time. I have always taken care of my teeth so the numbing pain was foreign to me. The next two days I tried to stand it, but last Saturday it became unbearable and no pain reliever could help. I returned to his clinic and he did some magic.
Today while I was helping prepare our lunch I felt as if I got punched on my right cheek. How could one small tooth cause so much damage? Since it was a Sunday I didn’t have the heart to call up my dentist and disturb him on his personal time. I took all sorts of pain relievers – Biogesic, Alaxan, Ponstan - yet here I am still bothered by this blasted tooth.
First thing tomorrow morning, I don’t care if he’s still on the golf course, I would call him. He has the responsibility to make The Pain go away. I missed out on my friend Ria Apostol’s birthday party because I was bedridden in pain today.
So much of pain is like this toothache. We try to maintain our sanity and health by going to doctors and counselors and confessors and trainers, but we always miss out on tiny things which turn out to lead to bigger problems later on. We discover them too late, by which time we would be reeling with pain and angry at ourselves and looking for someone to blame. Toothache is considered on top of the list of physical pains that cause the most discomfort and distress. I have right now several other aches and pains that no amount of anesthesia or pain reliever could cure. Even my spiritual band-aids don't work. I'm confronted by ghosts I have left behind.
This healing process is taking much longer than I wanted. I’m supposed to be excited for my US trip already. My relatives are. My parents are. Yet I haven’t packed a single type of toiletry for this vacation. I’m too busy sulking.
Sunday, November 13, 2005
Saturday, November 12, 2005
A Non-Golfer Emcees a Golf Tournament
Prior to November 2005, the longest exposure I’ve had to golf was when I played mini-golf with my Travelers friends from law school at Camp John Hay ages ago. I think I made a mini hole-in-one then as well! So when Vannie Siloterio, Lingkod Fund Development Head asked me to co-emcee this year’s Tee Off for the Mission: Hole-in-One for the Holy One, I hesitated. My golf vocabulary was pathetic and my knowledge of the game was non-existent! How could that glorify the Lord of the service?
But I could not say No to Vannie. Who can, actually? Have you tried it? It’s a futile exercise. She’s very persuasive and that’s why she’s doing a fabulous job with Fund Dev. She said that Joseph P., my Kuya Jopeng, would be my co-host. I presumed Kuya Jops had played golf sometime in his life. I was wrong.
At the Pizza Hut fellowship of Lingkod QC last week, I unburdened my work-related woes (I know, lucky me) and the people around me were very supportive. Both Ted and Fr. Steve had the same quotation from Mark Twain, the one about the definition of golf being a good walk spoiled or something like that. I could not use that as an opening or as a joke lest I wanted to risk being dragged off the stage by the good-hearted players who would support our fundraiser. They tried to give me a crash course on golf but it was funny listening to them, a priest and a lawyer who obviously did not like the game anyway.
I met briefly with Vannie and Jopeng before the program started and they said I could survive hosting while understanding only “Mulligan”, “Hole-in-One”, and “Tee Off”. Jopeng researched a golfers’ joke and found one from Mon Samson’s dad who texted, “They say golfers don’t die, they just putter away”. I think a wine bottle (one of the raffle prizes) should go to Jopeng for the effort in delivering that joke!
The Golf Team worked hard and it paid off. God answered our prayers for golfing weather, because the sun was up all day on November 8. There were 80 players who turned up, three of whom are my former bosses. We had more than enough minor and major raffle prizes and a significant amount was raised through sponsorship. Lingkod staffers arrived to lend support to the team and we served in various capacities, from cashier to cameramen to singers. Bheng, Ate My, and I sang along with guests Allen and Glen, through the help of Jet Sitaca on keyboards. It was pretty difficult to sing on two hours of sleep, as our call time was 5:30 a.m. at Alabang Golf and Country Club, and I was very relieved when the deed was done.
It was my first time at the AGCC and my first time inside Ayala Alabang. When I got home that night, and my parents asked me where I came from, they thought it was a non-Lingkod activity. They had never associated golf and Ayala Alabang to Lingkod. Oh well, Ma and Pa, I’m from Lingkod QC, a branch without golfers, but there are other branches whose members played and even won (Congratulations, Roman!) in the golf tournament.
This is a very interesting job you have, my parents said. I agreed with them, for I also saw the mansion of Jose Mari Chan at Ayala Alabang for the first time that day! The Lord sends generous people to support His mission and these were the sponsors, donors, and players for this year’s Lingkod Golf tournament. The partners from my previous law firm said that they would play a better game next year so I should just inform them about it. I wasn’t sure about a next year, but I heard that Vannie and Tito Randy were already planning to top this event.
Hopefully by then I would have read a proper book entitled Golf for Idiots, not that the fundraiser needs it, but for my own personal satisfaction.
But I could not say No to Vannie. Who can, actually? Have you tried it? It’s a futile exercise. She’s very persuasive and that’s why she’s doing a fabulous job with Fund Dev. She said that Joseph P., my Kuya Jopeng, would be my co-host. I presumed Kuya Jops had played golf sometime in his life. I was wrong.
At the Pizza Hut fellowship of Lingkod QC last week, I unburdened my work-related woes (I know, lucky me) and the people around me were very supportive. Both Ted and Fr. Steve had the same quotation from Mark Twain, the one about the definition of golf being a good walk spoiled or something like that. I could not use that as an opening or as a joke lest I wanted to risk being dragged off the stage by the good-hearted players who would support our fundraiser. They tried to give me a crash course on golf but it was funny listening to them, a priest and a lawyer who obviously did not like the game anyway.
I met briefly with Vannie and Jopeng before the program started and they said I could survive hosting while understanding only “Mulligan”, “Hole-in-One”, and “Tee Off”. Jopeng researched a golfers’ joke and found one from Mon Samson’s dad who texted, “They say golfers don’t die, they just putter away”. I think a wine bottle (one of the raffle prizes) should go to Jopeng for the effort in delivering that joke!
The Golf Team worked hard and it paid off. God answered our prayers for golfing weather, because the sun was up all day on November 8. There were 80 players who turned up, three of whom are my former bosses. We had more than enough minor and major raffle prizes and a significant amount was raised through sponsorship. Lingkod staffers arrived to lend support to the team and we served in various capacities, from cashier to cameramen to singers. Bheng, Ate My, and I sang along with guests Allen and Glen, through the help of Jet Sitaca on keyboards. It was pretty difficult to sing on two hours of sleep, as our call time was 5:30 a.m. at Alabang Golf and Country Club, and I was very relieved when the deed was done.
It was my first time at the AGCC and my first time inside Ayala Alabang. When I got home that night, and my parents asked me where I came from, they thought it was a non-Lingkod activity. They had never associated golf and Ayala Alabang to Lingkod. Oh well, Ma and Pa, I’m from Lingkod QC, a branch without golfers, but there are other branches whose members played and even won (Congratulations, Roman!) in the golf tournament.
This is a very interesting job you have, my parents said. I agreed with them, for I also saw the mansion of Jose Mari Chan at Ayala Alabang for the first time that day! The Lord sends generous people to support His mission and these were the sponsors, donors, and players for this year’s Lingkod Golf tournament. The partners from my previous law firm said that they would play a better game next year so I should just inform them about it. I wasn’t sure about a next year, but I heard that Vannie and Tito Randy were already planning to top this event.
Hopefully by then I would have read a proper book entitled Golf for Idiots, not that the fundraiser needs it, but for my own personal satisfaction.
Friday, November 11, 2005
Wisdom
For all men who were ignorant of God were foolish by nature; and they were unable from the good things that are seen to know him who exists, nor did they recognize the craftsman while paying heed to his works;
but they supposed that either fire or wind or swift air, or the circle of the stars, or turbulent water, or the luminaries of heaven were the gods that rule the world.
If through delight in the beauty of these things men assumed them to be gods, let them know how much better than these is their Lord, for the author of beauty created them.
And if men were amazed at their power and working, let them perceive from them how much more powerful is he who formed them.
For from the greatness and beauty of created things comes a corresponding perception of their Creator.
Yet these men are little to be blamed, for perhaps they go astray while seeking God and desiring to find him.
For as they live among his works they keep searching, and they trust in what they see, because the things that are seen are beautiful.
Yet again, not even they are to be excused;
for if they had the power to know so much that they could investigate the world, how did they fail to find sooner the Lord of these things?
-- Taken from the 1st Reading Today: Wisdom of Solomon 13: 1-9 (RSV)
but they supposed that either fire or wind or swift air, or the circle of the stars, or turbulent water, or the luminaries of heaven were the gods that rule the world.
If through delight in the beauty of these things men assumed them to be gods, let them know how much better than these is their Lord, for the author of beauty created them.
And if men were amazed at their power and working, let them perceive from them how much more powerful is he who formed them.
For from the greatness and beauty of created things comes a corresponding perception of their Creator.
Yet these men are little to be blamed, for perhaps they go astray while seeking God and desiring to find him.
For as they live among his works they keep searching, and they trust in what they see, because the things that are seen are beautiful.
Yet again, not even they are to be excused;
for if they had the power to know so much that they could investigate the world, how did they fail to find sooner the Lord of these things?
-- Taken from the 1st Reading Today: Wisdom of Solomon 13: 1-9 (RSV)
The Much-Talked About Shirt
The shirt as worn here by Abby and Ted... you've seen it in many photos throughout my blogs since April. We wore it all during the NLTC E-night presentation. And the Lingkod staffers and servants wore it for the Lingkod-Ligaya Golf Tournament last week. Hindi kami sponsored by Tide and Rejoice! The shirt says the theme for the Easter celebration, which is a spinoff of QC's theme for the year, "Joyfully We Proclaim God's Glory!"
A Story of a Shirt
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A Story of a Shirt
This is a story of a SHIRT
That was made last EASTER by the Lingkod QTs!
While not all could wear the baby tees,
I absolutely love it.
When I wear it…
How many people this year
Wanted to buy, not just in the NLTC, but also during Golf Day?
We were just so unsure
How many shirts to print then
But now so many stand there waiting
Wanting to buy blue, violet, orange and green
How many opportunities disappear we look in the mirror
So many of us who have more than one shirt
Your clothes never wear as well the next day
But this shirt’s color and design stay the same way
They never seem to run out of good things to say
This is a story of a SHIRT…
Rejoice and Be Glad!
Shirt Design by Nick Servino (in photo)
Supplier Contact by Maye Padilla
for the GMMACQ Easter Celebration last April 2, 2005 held at the Xavier School
For orders, please visit www.lingkodqc.blogspot.com and post a message at our Tagboard!
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
When I'm Real and Unlikable
People who regularly come here looking for something to read have been fairly disappointed probably because I have been unable to write down anything coherent in the last few days. Even my latest entries have fallen short of the standard I had wanted to set for this blog.
I can’t help it if my brain is not working properly. And it’s not because I’m overworked. Most of the things in my head right now do not deserve to see print. I dare not publish my thoughts for the blogging world to see.
I thought maybe I could just write about the lack of anything substantial to write. I’m editing my own life because I know that its less than perfect moments won’t always glorify the Lord, especially when I’m not in the right condition to express myself clearly. This blog is not a mask meant to project a happy, blessed life and to screen the ugliness that often creeps in through the cracks that I had not foreseen. I just want to be more careful about what I write lest I reveal too much, offend some people, or waste other people’s time.
I wanted to become the kind of person who was more grateful, positive, and cheerful. Well change doesn’t come overnight. Just this morning, as I was battling with my blues, I noticed something while driving along Commonwealth on my way to work. I saw huge cumulus clouds splashed across an unmistakably blue sky. I froze in my thoughts, though not in my driving as I couldn’t make a sudden halt in the middle of the road.
Before I could wallow too much in self-pity, worry, guilt and regret, God showed me something beautiful. Right in front of me, the clouds seemed like cotton, just the way I wanted them. I had to pause and thank my Maker for moments like that. I also had to pray to be more sensitive to the beauty around me.
Lord, you said that you could make all things new. I know you won’t just put me back together again til I’m “as good as new”. I believe you when you said that you would make me even better, for the old has gone and the new has come. I believe that I can be a new creation. I believe, despite my heart’s opposition to what my mind is saying right now.
People who don’t like to read other people’s less than presentable musings could go and hop to the next blog. I won’t pretend to be Ms. Sunshine for a while.
I can’t help it if my brain is not working properly. And it’s not because I’m overworked. Most of the things in my head right now do not deserve to see print. I dare not publish my thoughts for the blogging world to see.
I thought maybe I could just write about the lack of anything substantial to write. I’m editing my own life because I know that its less than perfect moments won’t always glorify the Lord, especially when I’m not in the right condition to express myself clearly. This blog is not a mask meant to project a happy, blessed life and to screen the ugliness that often creeps in through the cracks that I had not foreseen. I just want to be more careful about what I write lest I reveal too much, offend some people, or waste other people’s time.
I wanted to become the kind of person who was more grateful, positive, and cheerful. Well change doesn’t come overnight. Just this morning, as I was battling with my blues, I noticed something while driving along Commonwealth on my way to work. I saw huge cumulus clouds splashed across an unmistakably blue sky. I froze in my thoughts, though not in my driving as I couldn’t make a sudden halt in the middle of the road.
Before I could wallow too much in self-pity, worry, guilt and regret, God showed me something beautiful. Right in front of me, the clouds seemed like cotton, just the way I wanted them. I had to pause and thank my Maker for moments like that. I also had to pray to be more sensitive to the beauty around me.
- Why is counting my blessings such an effort?
- Why am I not bothered enough that that work is piling up and time is running out?
- Why do I habitually waste my time on stupid questions? I should exert more effort to rise above this bout of stupidity.
- I’m leaving with my parents to attend my sister’s graduation in Phoenix, Arizona next week. Our youngest, Melissa, has earned her Ph.D. in Molecular and Cellular Biology. That is something to be thankful, cheerful and grateful for!
- My relatives are waiting to celebrate Thanksgiving and my father’s 70th birthday with me. They will tour me around L.A., the bay area, and the Grand Canyon. I won’t be spending a single centavo. I’m a lucky girl.
- The fundraiser of Lingkod and Ligaya, the golf tournament, was a huge success in terms of sponsor support, player turnout, and raffle prizes. I emceed the program and even sang a couple of songs. My parents could not believe why people kept asking me to be emcee and to sing. They thought I just volunteered for those things. Of course I didn’t. I had stage fright and felt like a frog was leaping from my stomach to my throat the whole day yesterday! It was my first time at Alabang Country Club! Ligaya and Lingkod people were there, not to mention three of my former bosses in the law firm! I absolutely did not volunteer to humiliate myself. It was through grace that I survived. I’m thankful, Lord.
- While I was sick I had people fussing over me and checking up on me. I should be thankful for that, instead of resenting the attention and the fuss. If those people could read this they would probably want to take back the love that they had given me.
- Love is all around me. Really. Despite the rotten feeling I carry inside me most of the time these days, God still loves me, blesses me, and sends me people to share that love with.
- I can move on from this. That knowledge gives me hope. I could be healed of the memories I can’t shut out. I could move on from the oldest of wounds and become a better person out of this. God did not bother me through the topics at the NLTC and the books I have been reading just because He wants me to be miserable. I just need to cooperate and stop being stubborn.
Lord, you said that you could make all things new. I know you won’t just put me back together again til I’m “as good as new”. I believe you when you said that you would make me even better, for the old has gone and the new has come. I believe that I can be a new creation. I believe, despite my heart’s opposition to what my mind is saying right now.
People who don’t like to read other people’s less than presentable musings could go and hop to the next blog. I won’t pretend to be Ms. Sunshine for a while.
Sunday, November 06, 2005
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