My God is Up to Something

I have a strong feeling that God is up to something big in my life. Of course, He always is, in a sense, and in EVERYONE'S life, but with all the beginnings in my life, I recognize that He's really about ready to show me what He has cooked up for me.

I just finished the Steward Leaders Training (SLT) course conducted by the Institute for Pastoral Development (IPD) for the Cradle of JOY Center for Learning (COJ). I was supposed to be an observer but of course the more I shut off the Lord, the more He spoke to my heart during the past three days.

Both IPD and COJ are close to my heart. COJ was the venue of the first couple of years of Lingkod Quezon City. It was a preschool on weekdays and a prayer meeting venue for single young professionals on Friday nights. IPD taught me the Joy of Discovery in Bible Study right before I became a full-time staffer for Lingkod Office. It was thus no sweat for me to join them both for this SLT run. I thought I could be an outsider in the course, however, as I was not ready to face God's plan for my life in yet another seminar.

Let me share the brief description of what one gains from SLT from the IPD website:

"As a steward, discover and align your talents, resources and relationships to accomplish God's unique purpose for your life.
"As a leader, learn to live a meaningful life of service to God and others."

Interesting, right? The course, through its facilitators, did not disappoint. It made me answer the tough questions. It made me face my fears. I was able to come up with something that resembled a mission statement and a plan for my life, reluctant though I was to do so. I refrained myself from polishing it too much as the speakers assured us that we had the rest of our lives for that.

There were many tools presented to us that were all meant to help us in our journey of discovering God's unique purpose for our lives. I was overwhelmed at the amount of work involved to get my life in order. I stepped back a little and came before the Lord. I told Him it was a futile exercise as I had been discerning and searching for as long as I could remember and yet, I still had not found my niche. The Lord simply told me to be patient with myself and to trust His plan and His timing. I sat down to work but did not really believe I could come up with a conclusive document showing my life plan.

Before we closed the SLT, we were all asked to share. I was struck most by the sharing of the Directress of COJ, Teacher Marion Abiva-Cruz, who said that she had found her passion in COJ, in helping the teachers and the students, and she would grow old with COJ. She could see herself with white hair still serving at COJ. She has a supportive husband and her children all go to COJ.

I yearned for that, for the place I could say, "This is it. I would grow old with this place. This is my mission place, where my passion could be best put to use. This is where God called me. This would be my legacy." I approached Teacher Marion and asked her to pray for me that I find my own Cradle of JOY. She said I was welcome to be a teacher anytime. I knew teaching, though very noble, was not my passion. My gifts lie elsewhere. In too many places and too many involvements, actually.

I then went to a meeting with my friends Bobby and Jeng Quitain about a retreat we were conducting this weekend in Davao. Over dinner, we shared about our lives as well and I was inspired once more by this couple. Bobby, the first Lingkod QC Branch Leader and my personal Agitator to be the best Christian I could be, shared with me what the Lord had been doing in his family. I was am-azed. Jeng, my very good friend, with whom I shared many of my best years in Lingkod laughing, serving, and crying, also told me how the Lord was blessing them. I shared about the offers I had before me, those that I took and those that I let go of, and we all marveled at God's hand moving in our lives.

They presented me with more service opportunities and though I knew I was already overbooked and overloaded, I found myself saying yes to them. Who could say no to service? It was simply a matter of planning my schedule ahead, as I learned from the SLT. Besides, they were asking me to use my gifts and passions to spread God's word. I would be a fool not to recognize that as part of God's plan for me.

I have a blessing I want to share, by the way. I prayed to the Lord to give me a cellphone. I did not have any money so I specified, for free. Lo and behold, I qualified for Globe's loyalty/ reward points/ whatever they call it, and they sent me a brand-new Nokia E65.

I don't need proof of God's existence, but when I look at my new phone, I can't help but smile. God knows the key to a woman's heart - an Unexpected Gift at an Unexpected Time. (It's from the movie Finding Forrester starring Sean Connery.) I should have no reason to doubt that He would bless me, materially, spiritually, physically, emotionally, etc. etc.

I will step back and watch His plans unfold even further.

Scenes from The Youth Alive Summer Program Food Challenge

One thing that the youth can teach us is not to take life too seriously all the time...

















To seize the moment and make the most of it, whatever it is...












To keep our sense of humor, no matter what life brings us...


















To enjoy moments of triumph in the company of our friends...











And to find God in everything that we do, for He is the One who can put genuine smiles on our faces.

These are the lessons I learned from Youth Alive!

A Thorn in the Flesh

I remember how this started, at least from my point of view. It was the first Holy Week that I spent in our parish, as up to last year we were just a sub-parish and I was free to attend Easter Triduum services at my Catholic community, which is not parish-based. That week, I felt I was going on and on like Martha, fulfilling tasks and learning new duties as I came along, and I found myself staring, exhausted, at the Crucifix. I realized I wanted more. I wanted to understand or at least know more about what happened on Good Friday. It was not enough for me to be involved in the minute details of the prusisyon or in the layout of the Holy Week schedule. I had so many questions and knew so little.

Our parish priest asked me what I was thinking about as I must have stood for a long time, and I tried to tell him the things I was grappling with. He said, "Don't worry, we'll cover those topics when we study Paul's Letter to the Romans during our weekly Scripture Study at the parish".

So part of me wanted to know more about salvation and that part is awed at the generosity of God's love and the immensity of Jesus' sacrifice as it is revealed to us verse by verse, sometimes word for word, every week during Scripture study. My "classmates" and I exchange quizzical looks at the input we are getting, simply because they are sometimes too much for us to comprehend quickly. I take down notes feverishly but periodically, during the lecture, I have to put down my pen and sit with the ideas for a while in order for them to sink in properly.

As I learn that I have been saved as a unilateral act of God, and I can either respond or refuse to it, my mind tells me I'm a fool to reject this golden offer. The reality, however, is that I am a sinner. I rebel against God. I've sinned in the past; I'm sinning still everyday; and unless I die tomorrow, I'm pretty sure I will sin again in the future. It is perverse, indeed! Why can't I simply accept what is good, and right, the thing that is pleasing to God who made the first move by loving me and sustaining that love for me? Why, despite this growing knowledge, do I still sin? Why is my sin ever before me? Why do I give in to the temptation to disobey God? Why do I grow impatient with Him? Why must I try Him so with my willful disobedience?

I know the saints can explain this and I am assured that I'm not the only one with a thorn in the flesh that God won't simply remove. Still, I am struck at the reality of my own sinfulness, despite Jesus' supreme act of love that ought to make me refuse to sin forever and ever. I wish I would improve in this struggle, so that I don't waste my salvation and meet God face to face someday.

For a day in thy courts is better
than a thousand elsewhere.
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God
than dwell in the tents of wickedness. -- Ps 84:10, RSV

Only the Cream Ought to be with the Supremes

My father asked me to read yesterday's column in the Philippine Daily Inquirer written by former Chief Justice Artemio Panganiban entitled "Hot Seat in the Supreme Court". It was a particularly factual piece on the details surrounding the announcement last week that Justice Gregory Ong was appointed by PGMA to the Supreme Court. I'm sure Papa and I were not the only lawyers in the country shaking our heads in utter disbelief at the selection process, if indeed there was a process, that went on. Most striking was this portion of the column, and I quote:

"Ignoring rank, age and precedence.

"In choosing Ong, President Macapagal-Arroyo bypassed the three heads of the three appellate courts: Reyes of the Court of Appeals, De Castro of the Sandiganbayan, and Acosta of the Court of Tax Appeals.

"These three presiding justices are superior in rank, age and precedence of appointment to their respective courts than the appointee. x x x"


Read the full story here.

Life Begins at Forty

On Sunday, May 20, 2007, my parents Lourdes and Cecinio del Rosario will celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary. True to form, they have shunned any ostentatious celebration. With their children living in different continents and their grandchildren on holiday abroad, they just want to focus on the basics for that day.

We, meaning the couple and me their driver, will relive that fateful day by hearing mass at Malate Church (Nuestra Senora de Remedios) where they exchanged vows one early Saturday morning. Then, we'll dine at the venue of their wedding reception, the nearby Aristocrat restaurant.

Mama preserved the negatives of their wedding photos. When she had copies made a couple of years ago, the photo center said that the negatives could win if they had a contest on oldest and best-preserved negatives. I wish I had a scanner so I could show you how they looked like then, the young lawyer who married the young music/piano teacher in 1967. Papa thinks he looked like Jude Law then. Mama had such a tiny waist! Why didn't I inherit that?

My parents are low-profile, simple people. Their conversations are not about their achievements and they are not fond of lavish parties. I've always said that people need only ask one question, however, and my parents would proudly recite that they have five children, all graduates of the University of the Philippines - an architect/businessman, a mathematician (Ph.D./ Ten Outstanding Young Scientists of the Philippines - this always comes up), an accountant, a lawyer, and a scientist. They have four children-in-law, two from U.P. and two from other countries. They have two handsome grandchildren who are very talented and loving. Their listeners should brace themselves for more where this came from as this is their favorite topic.

Like any married couple, they went through the ups and downs of raising five children, but looking at them now, sharing their passion for traveling and gardening, one a Sudoku lover and the other a Koreanovela fan, still criticizing each other's cooking, watching movies that are free for senior citizens at movie houses on Mondays, and united in their love for family and music, I am (and I'm sure my siblings are,too) very, very grateful.

We'll have a reunion with the immediate family later this year and we'll drink to those 40 colorful years. I want to thank God that Mama and Papa are still healthy and happy together.

Photo taken during their vacation in Europe last year. It's one of my favorite shots of the two of them, taken by Kuya Ric.

The Facts on the Dis-appointment at the SC

Sometimes, thankfully, this blog is not just about me.

Kindly read this article on Newsbreak on the controversial appointment of Justice Ong to the Supreme Court so you'll know what I mean. They have the facts.

Since I really want you to read it, here again is the link:

http://www.pubtrust.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=3412&Itemid=88889005

Where I Was...

I would have posted about the appointment and disappointment to the vacant position at the Supreme Court earlier had I not been busy with a swimming party for the youth. As you can see from the photos, I was not able to jump in the pool at all. I was one of the assigned whistle-blowers. During my spare time, when I was not being driver/yaya/secretary/tita/ate to some people, I posed for some photos with my friends from the Youth Alive ministry.

An Almost Unforgivable Insult

The Constitution of the Republic of the Philippines provides, in Article VIII, on the Judiciary:

"Section 7. (1) No person shall be appointed Member of the Supreme Court or any lower collegiate court unless he is a natural-born citizen of the Philippines. A Member of the Supreme Court must be at least forty years of age, and must have been for fifteen years or more a judge of a lower court or engaged in the practice of law in the Philippines."

Constitutional Law is taught in law schools, or at least, it ought to be, throughout the country, during freshman year. ALL bar reviewees memorize this provision. All lawyers know, or ought to know, of this citizenship requirement for Supreme Court justices.

When Malacanang, therefore, announced the appointment to the Supreme Court of an Associate Justice from the Sandiganbayan who failed this very basic requirement of the fundamental law of the land, it makes us think how many lawyers conveniently forgot their constitutional law, or probably simply blinked at the [in]appropriate moment just so this appointment could land on the hands that gave the go-signal, which was then so quickly withdrawn just a few hours earlier.

It was a lapse that would probably be soon forgiven by this forgetful nation. No amount of "I-am-sorry" statements should assuage us. Is the supposedly independent judiciary, with no less than the highest tribunal of the land, being treated with due respect by our government?

Achievement and qualification should determine who gets appointed as Supreme Court justice. This is something ALL citizens deserve, whether or not they know their Constitution. Whenever connection and ambition cloud the judgment of those who are in power, the whole nation suffers.

We've been suffering for so long and for many reasons now. When we suffer due to something as basic as this, it is aggravated by ignominy, and not only we are insulted but also our Constitution, the safeguard of our so-called democracy.

Time was when I believed in people and governments and systems. These days I have become more selective in what I believe in. This government has long ceased to be one of them.

In-Between

Like a sandwich filling, I am in-between.
I'm neither fit nor dying;
neither young nor old;
neither successful nor broke;
neither winning nor losing.

I am floating,
leaving behind all that I have been
and believing tenaciously in a bright future Promised to me...
but for now, I am in-between.

This is a place I have never been.
I never planned this;
never wanted this;
and for sure, I don't know what to do with this.

There are days when I hold my breath in anticipation,
other days I just let out long deep sighs.
I return the balls that are thrown my way.
I close my eyes and let difficulties pass me by.

When through the cracks and crevices,
sunshine passes,
and a flower blooms like hope in my heart,
I pause to ponder,
stopping myself from analyzing its color,
shape,
and purpose in life,
but letting it be,
the promise of beauty,
in me,
and of more to come.

I am waiting -
for heaven,
or heaven on earth,
or to make sense of earth -
and I embrace The One who holds my hand
and assures me that my time shall come.

Happy Mothers' Day, Mama!

This is Mama with her current unica hija. She has five children, four children-in-law, and two grandchildren. She and Papa will celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary next Sunday. We'll drink to that. (Hey, 40th year is ruby year and I read somewhere red wine is appropriate.)

Today we ate a great meal at Luk Foo. Everyone was happy except Miko, who wanted to go to Jollibee instead. We told him he had to give in today because it was Mom's Day. He quietly ate his lunch but I heard that he was going to try to convince his other grandma to have dinner at Jollibee tonight.

Instead of a bouquet of cut flowers, Mama requested for orchids that she could take care of. We happily gave in.