Letter after the Crossroads

From: Ella C.H. del Rosario [mailto:elladelrosario@netgazer.com.ph]
Sent: Sunday, February 06, 2005 9:57 PM
To: lingkodqc@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [lingkodqc] braveheart ba kamo?

The amazing, abundant grace of the Crossroads Retreat must be on my fingers as I can still type this despite the absolute tiredness from the past week.

I tried to pick up life from where I left it yesterday morning but found myself unable to. I have been changed because of a touch of Greatness. I had work and errands to finish in order to prepare myself for another work week but could not seem to find the energy to face them. I had to write something about the Crossroads.

There were three sets of characters that made this weekend special.

Nature took its course in front of my eyes. I've always been fascinated whenever the small tree in front of our house would sprout new leaves. That's because they never failed to look shiny, fresh, and new, and they made the tree look young and vibrant. That's my limping analogy for the breathtaking sight of new hearts being captured by God's love. Attending the Crossroads from the participants' point of view made me realize the basics of my faith. Just as we attempted to hammer into them that the best road is wherever God is leading us, I found myself more deeply convinced of that truth. Listening to their appreciation of God's love made me more aware of it. Teaching them new songs made me see that I have taken for granted the gift of music that we share in community. Finding myself expressing love to brothers and sisters in front of the participants made me appreciate once more how truly special Christian love is. I have reached a point of tiredness in my limited life, and this weekend God showed me how
blessed I am already just to know His love and to experience it through a loving community.

Some of you know that I had just come from a ten-day leave from service. I may have been online but I asked for some space from Ate My and Rommel so I could put down my BWM hat for a few days and plug in to the Source of wisdom (more on this when the discernment story of my life is finished). Because of this, I was absent in five activities and invisible in the preparations for the Crossroads, among others. Gay took on my service for that period. I knew that service was God's work and He had very able hands through the Crossroads team. Of course, brothers and sisters, you exceeded my expectations (and I didn't consciously set any) this weekend. Watching everyone serve, I couldn't help but feel proud and joyful and free. I told
you that the team served as a well-oiled machine. With God setting the direction, Paul catching the vision, and Gay implementing the mission, the servants shone like bright lights in a dark room. Put together, those bright lights made for a brilliant chandelier. God must be so proud of you. I didn't see tired faces. I didn't see burdened hearts. I saw servants in the truest sense! All the DGLs, sharers, greeters, guitarists, (allow me to say kahit parang self-serving, but I honor SG, Ria and Ding for this!!!) speakers, and [admin] staffers, played their part. That's what I would call a symphony. Your offering of time, talents and smiles must have made a beautiful melody that soared to heaven like songs of praise and worship would. I am in awe at how this community has grown!!!

Finally, I was touched, struck and slain by the Holy Trinity's incomparable presence. I saw the Father's love as He called His children home and forgave them of any sins. I saw the Son who never gave up despite writhing in agony at the price He had to pay for the sins of all the unworthy generations that exercised free will even at the point of hurting the Father. I saw the Holy Spirit pouring forth His grace to make everything go well, moving in everyone's hearts, whispering the truth against all attempts of the enemy, and empowering us to fulfill our part as Kingdom-builders for God. We serve a generous and victorious King!

My intense feelings may change tomorrow as they are affected by my hormonal imbalance, but this truth shall not change - I know that God chose me even before I chose Him, and this is true for all my brothers and sisters. It is a joyful feast that we're all invited to. The only thing being asked of me is to come prepared.

By the way, I referred to Braveheart in my title. :-) I was worried that you might have been oversaturated with my bar sharing already, but then again, I know that I would never tire of hearing Ria share about William Wallace's exhortation to freedom, and I would always anticipate Luis' tearjerker of a life story as well as his hilarious take on the "Amateur singing contest" and the worker tired of "two years of cow-cow at work". I know that even if Rommel is forgetful, it is just on trivial details that we could always remind him of, but he would never forget to pray and to lead based on that prayer. There are countless other reasons why I know that by God's grace, familiarity breeds not contempt but deeper commitment for this community.

I pray for all of us, that we continue to walk along the best road, and to live in peace.

As the Bone Thugs rapped, "See you at the Crossroads so you won't be lonely."

Your sister in Christ,
Ella