I have been busy this past week, so busy that I’ve hardly had sleep, yet I still have not finished all that I have to do. Most likely, I’m doing something wrong that’s why my schedule is in chaos. I still haven’t figured out how to manage my time properly. Some of my recent decisions have had negative consequences. I’m at a loss, really, as I didn’t expect this overwhelming sense of being “not enough” when I was already trying my best. I know I can’t please everybody but I sure have displeased a lot this week.
Tonight I read from Don Schwager’s Daily Reading and Meditation , what John Chrysostom, a 5th century church father, wrote regarding the power of prayer:
“Prayer is an all-efficient panoply [i.e. 'a full suit of armor' or 'splendid array'], a treasure undiminished, a mine never exhausted, a sky unobstructed by clouds, a haven unruffled by storm. It is the root, the fountain, and the mother of a thousand blessings. It exceeds a monarch’s power. ..I speak not of the prayer which is cold and feeble and devoid of zeal. I speak of that which proceeds from a mind outstretched, the child of a contrite spirit, the offspring of a soul converted – this is the prayer which mounts to heaven. ..The power of prayer has subdued the strength of fire, bridled the rage of lions, silenced anarchy, extinguished wars, appeased the elements, expelled demons, burst the chains of death, enlarged the gates of heaven, relieved diseases, averted frauds, rescued cities from destruction, stayed the sun in its course, and arrested the progress of the thunderbolt. In sum prayer has power to destroy whatever is at enmity with the good.”
It is a good meditation for the Gospel Reading today, the first line of which goes, "Ask, and it will be given you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.” (Matthew 7:7)
I know only prayer can save me now and show me what to do. I ask for the Holy Spirit to guide me so that I make decisions in accordance to God’s will, and not my own.