Monday, January 24, 2005

More Signs of Aging... and Maturing!

As if last week's realizations were not enough...

It's too early for rheumatism, but I've been walking around with a painful back for a long time now, most especially the past weekend. I was told at the spa to visit weekly in order for the massage therapy to work! I did not want the massage to end. It was heaven on earth. I won't tell the name of the spa, otherwise people would flock to it and I wouldn't be able to get a slot as easily anymore. That's assuming I have readers who go to the spa! Well I'm in the mood to assume.

I can't hold down alcohol anymore. Two sips of wine and I feel dizzy. I cannot remember the last time I was able to manage a bottle of beer by myself. This could be because I have not been drinking as much as law school encouraged me to. I have been reneging on my Malcolm-Hall-Alumni duties for years now. I can add that to my IBP fee backlog, and that would explain their refusal to release my Compliance Certificate despite being exempt from the MCLE, as I'm under the SC/PHILJA's responsibility.

All said, however, I'd rather be aging and aching in the arms of the Lord than partying and drinking away from Him.

There may be signs that I'm maturing as well, thank God!

Today I took a leave from some of my perceived responsibilities and was surprised at the support that I got from the people around me. It was worth the big risk of asking for some time off. The world would obviously turn without me. What was I thinking? Carrying the weight of the world only brought me a bad back and aching feet. From now on, I would make a conscious effort not to complicate things by attempting to be everything to everyone. After reading all those self-help books, I still did everything they said I shouldn't do. I worried, multi-tasked, panicked, obsessed, wondered and doubted. I took charge and took too much. I, too, am human.

Before I make any more mistakes, I have decided to stop giving for a while. It's time for me to spend time alone with Jesus, in my sacred space. I will fix my eyes on the Lord of the service, and not the service of the Lord.

My heart is cluttered. I don't need a Sorting Hat. What this calls for is... a Sorting Heart. :) As of my last official sorting, I found out that I am a Gryffindor.

I hope to be better in two weeks. May the smell of Salonpas wear off, too.

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