Rest is doing me good. It should, I know, for that's why God created rest.
I'm away from my usual seasoning of worry-panic-anxiety-guilt-fear that I serve, live, work, play and sleep with. I'm taking steps towards freedom. This grand vacation might make me a better person after all, like what Jake Yap told me.
Out here I'm face-to-face with what I didn't have time for back home - a little laundry, cooking, dishwasing - because I help out. The great houses I live in don't come with angels named Jane (our helper back at QC). I like doing the laundry. I don't mind doing the cooking either! I have the makings of a happy homemaker. Why do pictures of the redhead from Desperate Housewives come to mind?
I've visited three Mission churches here in California - Mission San Jose, Mission San Juan Capistrano, and Mission San Diego. I saw the beginnings of the Catholic faith in the US, which came centuries after the First Mass was celebrated in the Philippines. They said since I'm a "missionary" I might like the missions (they = my parents and relatives). I've enjoyed those trips a lot.
Yesterday, at the chapel at Mission San Diego, I heard from the Lord. I haven't heard Him speak to me clearly in quite some time, perhaps even in months. He told me to "Continue on". I prayed to understand what He meant by that, and today I was assured during my quiet time with God that He has seen the striving that I had been doing - striving to leave my previous life, striving to adjust to a new life, striving to keep focused on my mission despite the material world that is America, striving to be true to myself and my gifts, talents, and dreams. He saw how unsure I was if I had taken the right path. I was being shaken once more, for here I was, a person with two degrees, earning less than our househelper. Have I been following the road set out for me?
Jesus answered me, "Continue on". That word has been impressed upon my heart since yesterday. Despite the uncertainties that I and my environment bring about at every opportunity, Jesus alone provides security. He provided the certainty.
I shall go back to Lingkod in January. To QC. To the Philippines. To my room. I shall try to be a better person, but I shall continue on. I remember now, isn't it written that He is faithful to finish the work He began in us?
I will lie down in green pastures and drink from still waters. I will rest, and then continue on the journey.
I haven't changed my mind (see previous blog).