I'm not sure exactly when it started, but my life has been on hold for a very long time now. Yes, despite all the travels, parties, picnics, and activities I blogged about, I went through them with bated breath, waiting for the day when I would wake up and feel at home in my own skin.
For the few people who have been following my career decisions, here is an update on the position I wrote about on the second day of this year (you may read about it here). The head of the agency I was invited to apply for told my friend who worked there that he definitely wanted to hire me. That was the assurance I got for many months, and yet their HR department never got around to calling me to schedule me for an interview with The Chief.
My two visits to their office to submit documentary requirements were not very pleasant experiences, as I saw first-hand that I could no longer go back to an office like that, where work stopped at 4 p.m. and employees chatted about everything other than their work in front of a visitor (me). This prompted me to ask my friend to tell his boss that I already had other commitments and I was no longer available for the position. While I thought he would persuade me to reconsider, my friend surprised me by saying that he was glad I had other projects because lawyers in their office shared a library as their working area and there were insufficient computers. My kind of workplace, indeed!
This experience taught me to wait fully on the Lord and not to inject my own interpretation of His Word. There must be someplace where I could feel at home.
A few months ago, I sent my resume to a magazine editor, however, I withdrew my application when I learned I had a good chance of becoming its Managing Editor. I just applied upon the encouragement of another good friend of mine, but when I assessed my existing responsibilities and those that would come with the job, I knew it was not meant for me.
Last week, a headhunter was after my head. I kept ignoring her calls because I was in the middle of a project. My father, who answered the phone, suggested that she call my sister-in-law, Mommy P, on the theory that the latter could convey the message to me better. Ms. Headhunter called up Mommy P at home. Miko answered the phone and refused to give it to his mom, saying, "She cannot come to the phone. She's eating pa eh." Ms. HH must have been really persuasive because despite Miko's repeated refusal to hand over the receiver to Mommy P, he finally relented.
I received several missed calls from Mommy P after this incident. I could not answer my phone due to several commitments. When I finally got home, my mother excitedly told me that a Ms. HH left a message for me with Mommy P. I was scheduled for interview with a corporation, and the position was AVP.
Audio-Visual Presentation?, I thought distractedly. I rang up Mommy P and got the message properly. Ms. HH meant Assistant Vice President. That company had already considered me before as Production Manager because of my Business Economics and Law background but that did not work out due to the firing of the HR Manager who interviewed me.
Since I was not a very normal person, I did not grab the opportunity that Ms. HH gave me. I made a short background check on the company and decided I could not be part of that, as I valued work-life balance. I had friends who used to work for that company and they said I was better off with my projects with CD Asia. I could not agree more. The projects might not be my promised land yet but at least they seemed to be a step in the right direction.
Part of me wondered if opportunities like that would come again, but the mass readings on Abraham these past few days assured me that I was meant to wait a little bit more. "You will know when the job is from me," I felt the Lord telling me. So for as long as the offers and opportunities do not come with a stamp, "Approved by My God", I would continue to confidently let them go, trusting that I would never run out of options and one day, I would find my place under the sun again.
So, yes, life is still on hold. And we have not even talked about my state of life yet. There are no updates on that topic.