I am writing this using borrowed time. As you can probably gather from my previous posts, I've resumed trying to earn my keep and minimized service and Church activities. I've been battling the worsening morning traffic along Commonwealth and struggling to be up before sunrise, something I had not done in a very long time. I should be early to bed but some habits die hard.
Today was a big day as one of the projects I was assisting in was launched. I unearthed my power suit and polished my shoes for the event. After one whole day of studying Legal Research methods while running around the venue to coordinate the different aspects of the event, I was exhausted beyond measure by the time I got to mass. I prayed for strength and patience to re-adjust to this new phase in my life. The homily about loving my enemy just whizzed by me. It was substantial compliance of the Sacrament. I was there with the Lord but my mind was elsewhere.
I stayed on for the weekly bible study on the Letter to the Romans. Fr. Steve tackled chapter 5 tonight. It was all I could do to keep track of the verses and their meanings. At the back of my mind, I was running through all the million things that I still needed to do.
Looking back at my day, I realized that I failed to apply any of the time management tools that I learned from the past. I was tired because I was back to my usual mistakes - trying to do everything on my own, charting up unrealistic expectations of myself, and forgetting to be grateful for my blessings.
I decided to write this so I could remind myself that I served God in everything I did not by power and not by might but by His Spirit; that I simply had to offer to Him what I had and He would do the rest; and that I was extremely blessed so I had no right to wear such a long, tired, and potentially-wrinkled face.
Let me take my beauty rest now, but not before offering my worries to the Lord, writing in my grateful journal, and diligently putting on night cream. :)