I wonder if I'm being like a child who hides the vegetables under her plate so she could skip to the dessert. In the book What Color is Your Parachute?, at least the version that I borrowed from a friend's friend, the author says that there are two kinds of job-hunters: the patient ones and the impatient ones.
It has already been established that Patience is not one of Ella's natural virtues. By God's grace I have been granted patience in some areas of my life in the past. This time I'm being called to seek the Holy Spirit's help once more, for I might stray off course again if I listen to the voice inside me that tempts me to flunk the marshmallow test.
It's just that I've grown impatient chewing on the main course when others seem to enjoy sweet chocolatey dessert all the time. I have been an obedient child all my life anyway. I brushed my teeth and flossed regularly. I took my vitamins. I ate my vegetables, actually, except for bitter ampalaya. I picked the right friends. I drank socially, but stayed away from all substances that would abuse my body. I read classical books, not just science fantasy or love stories. I practiced the piano. I cleaned my room.
Now that I've realized that God is not just a strict parent making a list and checking it twice, I wonder. I wonder if it's time for me to skip to the dessert.