Searching My Soul

I grew up sharing my bedroom with my younger sister. I love her and would always treasure those days we spent together, especially now that she's living in Arizona and I'm still in the Philippines, but when I was a little girl I thought that more than anything else, I wanted my own room where I could freely dream, cry, and write.

Knowing that we could not afford a bigger house, I decided to keep a journal where I could let out all my thoughts and emotions. The same younger sister, Jeb, told me that there is a theory that people who keep a diary in reality do so for others to read it, either secretly while they are still alive, or publicly when they achieve fame posthumously. I much preferred the latter reason, of course. I gave her full permission, then, to look for all my journals the day after I die and to read each page, and even to publish them if she feels inclined to do so. :)

A couple of decades, dozens of journals, and hundreds of emails later, my sister wrote to me that there is a new creature called a Blog that would do justice to my desire to share my little world to my friends and family. For several months now, Jeb has been insisting that since I love to send emails about everything, from the silly to the profound things that I find interest in, I would find it simpler to just update everyone with one post of a blog. I'm trying it now and it is indeed neat!

I am at another crossroads in life and many lessons are again coming my way. I therefore mark this day, September 8, 2004, as a new beginning, thankful that it is Mama Mary's birthday. Perhaps her obedience, faithfulness and humility would influence me as I make a significant decision within the coming months.

I have been searching my soul, and what have I found? The answers to my questions, yes, but also more doors that lead to more questions. It makes my life more meaningful that way.