Thursday, September 09, 2004

Searching My Soul

I grew up sharing my bedroom with my younger sister. I love her and would always treasure those days we spent together, especially now that she's living in Arizona and I'm still in the Philippines, but when I was a little girl I thought that more than anything else, I wanted my own room where I could freely dream, cry, and write.

Knowing that we could not afford a bigger house, I decided to keep a journal where I could let out all my thoughts and emotions. The same younger sister, Jeb, told me that there is a theory that people who keep a diary in reality do so for others to read it, either secretly while they are still alive, or publicly when they achieve fame posthumously. I much preferred the latter reason, of course. I gave her full permission, then, to look for all my journals the day after I die and to read each page, and even to publish them if she feels inclined to do so. :)

A couple of decades, dozens of journals, and hundreds of emails later, my sister wrote to me that there is a new creature called a Blog that would do justice to my desire to share my little world to my friends and family. For several months now, Jeb has been insisting that since I love to send emails about everything, from the silly to the profound things that I find interest in, I would find it simpler to just update everyone with one post of a blog. I'm trying it now and it is indeed neat!

I am at another crossroads in life and many lessons are again coming my way. I therefore mark this day, September 8, 2004, as a new beginning, thankful that it is Mama Mary's birthday. Perhaps her obedience, faithfulness and humility would influence me as I make a significant decision within the coming months.

I have been searching my soul, and what have I found? The answers to my questions, yes, but also more doors that lead to more questions. It makes my life more meaningful that way.

3 comments:

mel said...

hey that's me! singit ako sa blog mo.

Jen said...

Amen

mel said...

ate, fix your blog... the latest post(yung LOTR) is not showing up at elladelrosario.blogspot.com but is there at beyond-my-eyes-can-see... labo. teka- i don't remember you giving me permission to read your diaries... well, now i do.