I am estopped from asserting some of my rights now, because previously I made representations that I was okay with everything. Now that I've realized that I'm not totally okay, I cannot take back my word and suddenly stop people dead on their tracks. It is no longer equitable for me to insist that I be heard. As far as my friends are concerned, it was as if I had already waived my rights.
Perhaps I’m talking Greek once again. Let me just explain the doctrine that I’m using, lest you think I misspelled a word in my first sentence.
1. Wikipedia states that “estoppel or estoppel in pais is … the principle by which a party who knows or should know the truth is absolutely precluded, both at law and in equity, from denying, or asserting the contrary of, any material fact which, by his words or conduct, affirmative or negative, intentionally or through culpable negligence, he has induced another, who was excusably ignorant of the true facts and who had a right to rely upon such words or conduct, to believe and act upon them thereby, as a consequence reasonably to be anticipated, changing his position in such a way that he would suffer injury if such denial or contrary assertion was allowed.” 28 Am Jur 2d Estoppel and Waiver § 28
2. Art. 1431 of the Civil Code of the Philippines provides:
“Through estoppel an admission or representation is rendered conclusive upon the person making it, and cannot be denied or disproved as against the person relying thereon."
3. And in ROBLETT INDUSTRIAL CONSTRUCTION CORPORATION v. COURT OF APPEALS and CONTRACTORS EQUIPMENT CORPORATION, G. R. No. 116682 (January 2, 1997), the Supreme Court of the Philippines held:
“Furthermore, estoppel in pais arises when one, by his acts, representations or admissions, or by his own silence when he ought to speak out, intentionally or through culpable negligence, induces another to believe certain facts to exist and such other rightfully relies and acts on such belief, so that he will be prejudiced if the former is permitted to deny the existence of such facts."  Panay Electric Co. v. Court of Appeals, G. R. No. 81939, 29 June 1989, 174 SCRA 500.
The rest of the world, however, has to stay “ignorant of the true facts” through my fault and my fault alone. I am estopped. My hands are tied. I have to forever hold my peace. I have to check my thoughts.
Maybe I should go back to clerking for the courts. I seem to be better at seeing justice be upheld for others than for my own heart.
As a result, this is now my psalm:
1: Save me, O God! For the waters have come up to my neck.
2: I sink in deep mire, where there is no foothold; I have come into deep waters, and the flood sweeps over me.
3: I am weary with my crying; my throat is parched. My eyes grow dim with waiting for my God.
4: More in number than the hairs of my head are those who hate me without cause; mighty are those who would destroy me, those who attack me with lies. What I did not steal must I now restore?
5: O God, thou knowest my folly; the wrongs I have done are not hidden from thee.
6: Let not those who hope in thee be put to shame through me, O Lord GOD of hosts; let not those who seek thee be brought to dishonor through me, O God of Israel.
7: For it is for thy sake that I have borne reproach, that shame has covered my face.
8: I have become a stranger to my brethren, an alien to my mother's sons.
9: For zeal for thy house has consumed me, and the insults of those who insult thee have fallen on me.
10: When I humbled my soul with fasting, it became my reproach.
11: When I made sackcloth my clothing, I became a byword to them.
12: I am the talk of those who sit in the gate, and the drunkards make songs about me.
13: But as for me, my prayer is to thee, O LORD. At an acceptable time, O God, in the abundance of thy steadfast love answer me. With thy faithful help
14: rescue me from sinking in the mire; let me be delivered from my enemies and from the deep waters.
15: Let not the flood sweep over me, or the deep swallow me up, or the pit close its mouth over me.
16: Answer me, O LORD, for thy steadfast love is good; according to thy abundant mercy, turn to me.
17: Hide not thy face from thy servant; for I am in distress, make haste to answer me.
18: Draw near to me, redeem me, set me free because of my enemies!
19: Thou knowest my reproach, and my shame and my dishonor; my foes are all known to thee.
20: Insults have broken my heart, so that I am in despair. I looked for pity, but there was none; and for comforters, but I found none.
21: They gave me poison for food, and for my thirst they gave me vinegar to drink.
29: But I am afflicted and in pain; let thy salvation, O God, set me on high!
30: I will praise the name of God with a song; I will magnify him with thanksgiving.
31: This will please the LORD more than an ox or a bull with horns and hoofs.
32: Let the oppressed see it and be glad; you who seek God, let your hearts revive.
33: For the LORD hears the needy, and does not despise his own that are in bonds.
34: Let heaven and earth praise him, the seas and everything that moves therein.
35: For God will save Zion and rebuild the cities of Judah; and his servants shall dwell there and possess it;
36: the children of his servants shall inherit it, and those who love his name shall dwell in it.