Friday, July 20, 2007

Reverse Awakening

If I were asked which part of the US I would like to go back to for a visit, Las Vegas would be at the bottom of my list. It was enough for me to see the lights the first time I was there, but it had no lasting attraction for me. There were lots of other places, however, like San Francisco, Sydney, and Bohol, that I would make any excuse just to see again. My own biases were obviously limiting me from seeing the diamond in the rough that is LV.

Just because it is known for gambling and instant weddings, among others, should not mean the place does not offer anything good. Surely, I should stop being judgmental and learn to loosen up a little. Things are not always what they seem. I'm looking forward to spending time with my best friends from high school who live near the hotel where I would be staying, and with my law school blockmate who would attend the seminar. Yes, I'm going to have a grand time in "sin city."

Today I realized that just because a building is occupied by rich people does not mean its chapel is not filled with faithful believers. I'm undergoing a reverse awakening. I didn't realize I had put people in neat little files in my head - those in outright mission work took higher precedence over those who were successful in the corporate world. But who's to say that one glorifies and serves God more than the other? Does not the church need sponsors in order to implement its projects? Don't missionaries live on donations from generous people? What comes to mind is the passage from Corinthians that says we are one body, with many parts, with Christ as the head of the church.

My heart is slowly finding peace (it has not arrived fully yet) in the assurance that God is with me even if I don't serve Him in a church/ mission/ charity setting. I love Him so much, I don't want to be consumed by anything - not good works, not noble deeds, not amazing feats - that would separate me from His presence. Thus, I was afraid of pursuing my dreams too much. Ironically, it is the religious people around me who are setting me free and assuring me that God wants that for me, for He planted those desires in my heart.

Just because I am back in the corporate labyrinth does not mean that I'm not doing God's work. The bigger reality is that there is a greater hunger for laborers out there. Inside the church building and its surrounding lay organizations, the bench is already deep.

This might make better sense after I go on retreat this weekend. I have so much to share, for He has done many wondrous things before my eyes, but haven't found the right words yet. I need space and silence for that.

To be continued...

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