Wednesday, March 12, 2008

A Minor Jolt

Now I know why I was led to reflect on St Teresa of Avila's prayer this morning.  I wondered what the day would bring, and lifted it up to God who saw everything.  All I could think of was the convention we were participating in and how many copies of The Bench Companion we could sell to members of the National Prosecutors League of the Philippines.  

Nada te turbe.  Let nothing disturb you.  Solo Dios basta.  God alone suffices.  I used to sing this on my knees with tears streaming down my face during morning prayers at the Lingkod national conferences I attended.  It was a timely reminder today of what I used to profess.

I figured in a minor accident this afternoon.  I felt so rotten afterwards because it was my fault.  Due to carelessness in the middle of EDSA traffic, I hit a white CRV in front of me.  My dream car.  How ironic.  (Aside:  So this is how I pursue my dreams, by hitting them.  No wonder.  End of aside.)  Its immaculate whiteness rubbed off on the hood of my car.  

The driver, a woman about my age, was nice enough not to shout at me or tell me how stupid I was.  She just asked for my contact information and told me she would get in touch.

There were a thousand regrets in my head while driving back to the office.  Those who've been in a car accident would know the feeling of dread to be behind the wheel again.  But my car's name is not Kit and I'm not the Knight Rider, so I could not let my car do the driving for me.  I had to get back on my feet and face my fear.

Traffic was worse after work and I felt paranoid, like all the cars around me were too close.  I kept praying, Please Lord, not on the same day.  And while I'm praying about it, may I never be in a car accident ever again.

Tonight I will recite again the prayer I posted this morning.  Why is it that I only remember to pray hard when I'm hit hard?

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