Thursday, April 07, 2005

Looking for Inspiration

I need motivation!!! I'm so unproductive and I just stare at the ten cases on my desk, six folders from my writing sideline, turnover documents for Lingkod QC, research materials about JP II for our parish youth, wedding and balikbayan arrangements for my family, renovation ideas for my room, garage sale items to be identified from my closets, etc. etc... and here I am just wasting time in front of the computer again.

I welcome all kinds of distraction - invitations to the beach, news items about makeup and perfume sales, email and text messages that are not urgent anyway, and CNN/BBC/EWTN coverages of all roads leading to Rome.

I am a girl without focus once again. Where did my heart go? All that passion that I've been known for is now gone.

I like to daydream - about a clear desk, a day on the beach, a paycheck I can spend in its entirety, and a bedroom I could move freely in. Oh, where to get the inspiration to do the hard work in order to reap those fruits I dream about.

What would it take for me to sit down and plow through my To Do List inch by inch? A miracle? An answered prayer? A blessing?

I am waiting for something. Or someone. Yet, whether or not my circumstances change, I am running out of time. The world keeps on turning even if I hide from it!

Lord, I pray for inspiration, in whatever form you wish to send it to me. I would really appreciate it. :)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

hi ella
it's me again.
your-now-frequent-visitor to your blog.
i hope you won't construe this as stalking otherwise i might find myself cringing to the corner of my room because of fear that u would send the swat over to my place and scare me to death. hehehe. well, that doesn't make you a sandiganbayan (?) lawyer for nothing, does it? i always have that impression that govt lawyers are that powerful :) but since i am your lingkod brother i know you won't exercise that prerogative on me hehe.
seriously, for the lack of word to describe our sometimes boring life, we actually wane down to descrbing it as stale. meaning tasteless, spoiled, useless, icky-wicky. but let me share you something, something which i have learned to realize only lately (i'm a slow learner you know). i was so embarassed because it took one neophyte lingkod sis (in gapo) to shake my senses off. only one phrase from her kept me banging my head on the wall the moment she told me "pag nagta-trabaho ako, ibinibigay ko ang lahat lahat ko. kasi alam ko na si God ang nagbigay ng work ko and I should take care of it". ha? that means for the many years that i have worked i took God's grace for granted and all the while, i whined, i complained yet God was still faithful and still provided for me nonetheless. so when i feel down i look up to michael v. (aka bitoy) kasi kahit naghuhugas lang sya ng pinggan he finds JOY in his heart just washing the dishes. hehe.

so there goes my two cents worth of blah, hehe.


alas! you could now check my site hehe. finally got the courage to divulge the url.