Friday, June 17, 2005

Yeshua and Ella

If I could have things my way, I would be standing at a beach right now, not to party or to get a tan, but to speak to the Lord. When I look at the horizon, the sky seems to kiss the earth, and I can feel God’s presence more concretely.

In Olongapo where I grew up, I could watch the sun hide behind clouds at dusk, leaving behind majestic rays that infuse color into the darkening sky. I could stare at the water and breathe the salty air and take in all that beauty through my five senses until darkness envelopes me. The sound of the waves, the sight of the setting sun, the smell of the salt, the feel of the sand, and the taste of the water on my lips all work together to remind me of God, my Father, Creator, Teacher and Friend.

I used to visit the beach to talk to God about my hopes and desires. Once I got my heart so broken that I just lifted it up to Him there for healing. When I got back to the city, I carried His love with me and it helped me recover from the pain of loss that I thought would never leave me. At another time, I was able to have an unforgettable time of prayer and worship with brothers and sisters at a generous family’s house where we saw the mountains and the sea. We sang in Tagalog some beautiful Church songs from our childhood.

I thought of the beach today because I believe this occasion calls for such an intimate conversation with my God. But alas, I have to wait for the perfect opportunity to address Him in the way that my soul yearns for. Since God is everywhere I am sure He could hear me now.

This is what I wanted to tell You, surrounded by the perfect ambience of Your creation.

Lord God, thank you for the power of Your love that led me through two years of service. Who was I that You chose me to be Your servant at a time when all I could think of were myopic dreams and shallow ambitions? You have taught me humility, patience, compassion, forbearance, mercy, and grace. You have given me first-hand experience of what faith, hope and love mean. You sustained me by Your love, encouraged me by Your Word, and empowered me by Your anointing. I can feel You gently putting me down today from the places that we flew to while I was BWM of Lingkod QC.

I do not deserve Your faith in me. I disappointed and failed you countless times, even in the recent past, and yet You did not cut me off. You sent Your angels to guide and protect me. Through fire, accident, heartache, pride, selfishness, and other dangers, You were true to Your promise. I am here, a stronger person, I think, because of what You have done in me. Thank You for disturbing me so I could do Your will more fully. We have a long journey ahead of us, my Lord, but for today, I want to proclaim Your greatness and glory, for I am a living witness of all that. Blessing, honor, worship and praise belong to Your Name. I am Yours. Here I am, Lord. Before You send me off again, I want to stay in Your arms for a very long while.

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