I made a decision today, and I want to remember it by blogging about it, although I cannot write all the details here.
One of my dreams was offered to me, on a silver platter, but I could not accept it. Not now. I had previously said “No” to this offer, but on all those occasions both the offerors and I were not sure if we were serious about our respective decisions.
Today, they asked me to reconsider and enumerated the reasons why I should accept their offer. One, the opportunity might never come again. Two, it was a beautiful chance to live out one of my lifelong dreams. Because they seemed to mean business this time, I came before God to ask if it was time for this dream to be realized.
First, I had to come to terms with the reality that part of me wanted to accept the offer. However, such a decision would adversely affect my commitments to Lingkod Office and would thus run counter to my calling, which I had discerned and prayed for, to work there for at least two years.
Then, I asked the Lord to confirm what I felt in my heart. I believed that with God, opportunities could knock more than once. I had given my all to Him and that included surrendering major decisions to Him. Without His blessing, this dream could turn out to be a nightmare.
I opened my Bible to the Scripture readings for the Second Sunday of Easter. The First Reading showed me that the early believers did not lack anything, for they pooled their resources and thus had enough. It reminded me that I need not subscribe to the anxiety of the world, for I would be provided for by God. The Gospel reading, about Thomas who only believed that Jesus had risen after seeing Him and touching His wounds, taught me about faith all over again.
Jesus said to him, “Have you come to believe because you have seen me?Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed.” (John 20:29, NAB)
I had to make a decision in faith, even if I could not see what God had in store for me. I had to trust that His plans were better than the opportunities I was giving up in order to follow His call (for this was not the first offer that I have had to decline).
I felt peace, the same peace that Jesus had given His frightened disciples at the Upper Room, after my decision. I heard Him speaking to me that I made the right decision in putting all my hopes in Him.
The tiny part of me that wondered if I was losing my mind for declining such a tempting offer was silenced after my prayer time. I was given another opportunity to prove how powerful my God is, that even if the world would claim otherwise, He could perform miracles in my life, so I should not make decisions out of fear or anxiety. He could easily give me the desires of my heart, those which are in accordance to His plan.