I was laying on the blue cloth over our dining-slash-conference table, the one that we only use during special meetings to cover our checkered tablecloth at the office, when it hit me: I was happy.
As I smoothed out the edges and checked with Regine if all the sides were “pantay” (sorry for the Taglish, I couldn’t find an exact translation), I recognized the joy in my heart. I was looking forward to the staff meeting that we were going to have because I had a preview of the topic and could see how useful and timely it was for the call of Lingkod at this particular time. I thoroughly enjoyed assisting Nerry, our National Women’s Moderator, with some parts of the HR/training/career-tracking work that she did for us, as I knew it would be helpful to the branches, especially the leaders, in very practical ways.
I was reminded today of how God answered my prayers, which I bombarded him with for almost a year, to give me opportunities to serve Him with all my time, my mind, my heart, and my soul. I could whine and complain about some difficulties I had with the adjustment; I could wonder and ponder if I should be doing more lawyerly, or corporate, work; and I could question all the little “sacrifices” that I have had to make (which tonight seem all insignificant compared to God’s work to Christify the workplace and single people and to develop leaders that would lead God’s people( the thrust of Lingkod), but the bottom line is this: I am living out a dream, my heart’s desire, an answered prayer!
Easter has come, slowly but surely. I had been caught up with leftover Good Friday tears, like Mary of Magdala, because I thought my Lord Jesus had been taken away, that I failed to recognize Him (John 20). I had been confused by the news of His Resurrection, and like Peter, been tempted to “go back fishing” (in my case, go back “lawyering”/ “shopping”/ achieving), but of course those efforts, to one who had been called to a mission, proved futile, and what a blessing that Jesus Himself instructed Peter where to cast his net to get an abundant catch, and what a greater blessing that Jesus Himself prepared breakfast for His disciples and gave Peter three opportunities to declare his love and loyalty to Christ, to erase the three denials that were made, as He had predicted (John 21).
I was able to have these Easter reflections as my assignment for our Action Group meeting last Tuesday. Finally! After almost nine months of not having an AG, I was able to join the frat sisters again. It was a joyful comeback, one that came at the right time. I shared my prayer, for me to be able to recognize Jesus when He calls me by name, and for me to be able to obey His voice when He tells me where to go, even though I sometimes felt little tugs to explore other paths that were not consistent with the one mission that I had been called to do, at least for the next couple of years.
Nothing major happened today, but it’s good to be where I am, doing what I do, serving with my co-servants, and working towards the goal that I felt passion for. Happiness, as they say, is not having everything that I love, but loving everything that I have. And today, I do.