Tuesday, January 17, 2006

A Very Slow Start

No one sews a piece of unshrunk cloth on an old garment; if he does, the patch tears away from it, the new from the old, and a worse tear is made. And no one puts new wine into old wineskins; if he does, the wine will burst the skins, and the wine is lost, and so are the skins; but new wine is for fresh skins." (Mark 2:21-22)

Time and again in my walk with the Lord I have alternated between resisting His love and accepting His pruning. Now, after having received so many blessings from Him, I have come back to ask what I should do now. I have changed, even just a little, because of all the new horizons that I pursued, new heights that I soared, new tastes that I acquired, and new decisions I have made. I’m not sure where to start, though.

To go back to life and to my old habits would be to invite the bursting of my old wineskin. I have been given a chance to start anew. After having a bird’s eye view of my world I am now back in it, and I have to remind myself of my realizations while on vacation in order not to fall into the same traps I’ve willingly walked into for several years now.

I am a new creation, yes, with a new heart and a new hope. Were I not physically taken away from all that was familiar and the things I panicked and obsessed about, I would not have seen how resistant I had been to just accept God’s love. To serve and to obey were my primary goals, but I had forgotten the greatest commandment to love.

I heard a new song over the weekend, it’s from a movie soundtrack and it says that “love is in my to-do list”.

I am back and yet not completely back. I am still unsure how to start over. So I take it one day at a time.

Be patient with me.

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